Maafkan daku, Kekasih
semalam aku gelepar dalam nafsu
kukhianati ku beloti
perjanjian yang Engkau tentukan
digamati penyesalan
dipanggil kerinduan
dicarik keresahan
Malam sunyi ini, Kekasih
tatkala bintang tidak digilap
dengan titisan embun taubat
izinkan aku maherat
menyingkir hancing dosa
membabar sejadah menebar tasbih
dan mengitari maghfirah
kerana aku pun tahu
sebenar-benar tahu
Engkau Maha Pengampun
Faisal Tehrani
Masjid Ar-Rahman, Kuala Lumpur
1994
(dipetik dari Ingin Jadi NasrAllah)
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Stretch that RM... the sequel
In my earlier post, I wrote on this subject.
To stretch the RM as thin as I possibly can.
Well, what do you know?
I can actually do it and I have been hit with regrets ever since. Mana daknya!.. I realised that if I actually plan my expenditure properly and do not splurge on things I do not need, I can save A LOT on each paycheque. How much? Let's put it this way, I could go for Umrah each year and throw in an oversea holiday or two in between, that's how much I could have saved each year!!!! Haih! double haih! Too late for regrets already.
Before I went for Haj, I sort of put all my finances in order, because you do not know kan what will happen there. What I did was to pay off all my debts and start to live on cash. Since October last year, I have been living cash basis. Although I still carry credit cards around, I do not use them unless I know I have the money to pay for it and I would normally pay immediately, not waiting for the statement, thank you online banking!
I cannot even start to express the feeling of living a debt free life. Its refreshing, its liberating, its freedom, its beyond explanation. I have been tied up to credit card debts and housing loan before this.
In my previous life, I splurge without care and normally would be spending my future income away, thus a very high credit card debt. After watching Suze Orman, either her own show on CNBC or on Oprah and Till Debt Do Us Part by Gail Vaz-Oxlade regularly, I was determined that I should change. That's how I got started. My first project was to sell off the apartment I bought in KD, I was renting it out but the rent payment were erratic. Alhamdulillah, the process took less than 4 months to finalise. I sold the house to the first couple who viewed it. I doa and doa to make the process go smoothly and without obstacles and Alhamdulillah, my prayers were answered. We signed the S&P in April and I got my final payment in July. I used part of the proceeds to take my parents and youngest brother to Umrah and used the balance to pay off all my credit cards debt. Phuh!
So there, I urge everyone to try this. Its quite impossible for some to live a totally debt free life due to home mortgages and car loans, but at least try to limit your debt to these two alone. If you only need 1 or 2 cars, why have 3. If you need only 1 house, why have 2, 3 or four and be a slave to them. Most importantly eradicate credit card debts! If I can do it, anybody can. InsyaAllah. If you have not watch Suze or Gail before, please do... They will not be telling you anything new, you can bet on it but they will open up your eyes, very wide in my case.
Okay, Maknjang, back to work!
To stretch the RM as thin as I possibly can.
Well, what do you know?
I can actually do it and I have been hit with regrets ever since. Mana daknya!.. I realised that if I actually plan my expenditure properly and do not splurge on things I do not need, I can save A LOT on each paycheque. How much? Let's put it this way, I could go for Umrah each year and throw in an oversea holiday or two in between, that's how much I could have saved each year!!!! Haih! double haih! Too late for regrets already.
Before I went for Haj, I sort of put all my finances in order, because you do not know kan what will happen there. What I did was to pay off all my debts and start to live on cash. Since October last year, I have been living cash basis. Although I still carry credit cards around, I do not use them unless I know I have the money to pay for it and I would normally pay immediately, not waiting for the statement, thank you online banking!
I cannot even start to express the feeling of living a debt free life. Its refreshing, its liberating, its freedom, its beyond explanation. I have been tied up to credit card debts and housing loan before this.
In my previous life, I splurge without care and normally would be spending my future income away, thus a very high credit card debt. After watching Suze Orman, either her own show on CNBC or on Oprah and Till Debt Do Us Part by Gail Vaz-Oxlade regularly, I was determined that I should change. That's how I got started. My first project was to sell off the apartment I bought in KD, I was renting it out but the rent payment were erratic. Alhamdulillah, the process took less than 4 months to finalise. I sold the house to the first couple who viewed it. I doa and doa to make the process go smoothly and without obstacles and Alhamdulillah, my prayers were answered. We signed the S&P in April and I got my final payment in July. I used part of the proceeds to take my parents and youngest brother to Umrah and used the balance to pay off all my credit cards debt. Phuh!
So there, I urge everyone to try this. Its quite impossible for some to live a totally debt free life due to home mortgages and car loans, but at least try to limit your debt to these two alone. If you only need 1 or 2 cars, why have 3. If you need only 1 house, why have 2, 3 or four and be a slave to them. Most importantly eradicate credit card debts! If I can do it, anybody can. InsyaAllah. If you have not watch Suze or Gail before, please do... They will not be telling you anything new, you can bet on it but they will open up your eyes, very wide in my case.
Okay, Maknjang, back to work!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I might know the answer
Yes, I might. But just can't bring myself to say it out loud.
Someone asked me this morning, why are all these (bad incidents) happening to him. Whose fault is it? Is it his? One bad thing after another keeps befalling him lately. At least he felt so. He felt like Allah swt is not answering his prayers, instead HE is punishing him. AstaghfiruLlah hal'aziim. Like Maknjang said before, we have to bersangka baik dengan Allah swt and we cannot give up hope, but Maknjang just cannot say this to him. Maknjang istighfar dalam hati saja.
So who or what is to be blamed?. Bad management, bad maintenance, the supernatural, bad karma?
Whatever happen to us, happens for a reason. We have to look deep inside ourselves to find out why. Not outside and start to blame others. Stop blaming others. Muhasabah ourselves. (Don't think that there will be no repercussions to our actions, the wrong ones, especially) . When we feel that ALlah swt is punishing us, our conscience is telling us that we must have done something wrong, whether we realise it or not. Seek forgiveness from Allah swt for HE is All Forgiving. Maybe Allah swt is testing us, pray to Allah swt for the strength to overcome the hardship we are facing and succeed in the test. Allah swt will not test us unless HE has provided us with the means to overcome it. Be thankful to HIM for the hardship has brought us closer to HIM.
So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: (5) Verily with every difficulty there is relief. (6) (As-Sharh).
I wish I could share the following excerpt from La Tahzan with him:-
No calamity be falls on the earth or in yourselves but is inscribed in the Book of decrees- before We bring it into existence (Qur’an 57:22)
The pen has dried, the pages have been lifted, all events that shall come to pass have already been written.
“Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us” (Qur’an 9:51)
Whatever has befallen you was not meant to escape you, and whatever has escaped you was not meant to be fall you, if you this belief were to be firmly ingrained in your heart, then all hardship and difficulty would become ease and comfort.
The Prophet (bpuh) said: “Whoever Allah wishes good for, He inflicts him (with hardship).” For this reason, do not feel overly troubled if you are afflicted with sickness, the death of a son , or a loss in wealth. Allah has decreed these matters to occur and the decisions are His and His alone, when we truly have this faith, we shall be rewarded well and our sin shall be atoned for.
For those that are afflicted with disaster, glad tidings await them : so remain patient and happy with your lord. “He cannot be questioned as to what He does, while they will be questioned” (Qur’an 21:23)
You will never completely feel at ease until you firmly believe that Allah has already pre ordained all matters, The pen has dried and with it has been written everything that will happen to you. Therefore do not feel remorse over that which is not in your hands. Do not think that you could have prevented the fence from falling, the water from flowing, the wind from blowing, or the glass from breaking you could not have prevented there thinks, whether you wanted to or not, all that has been preordained shall come to pass “then whosoever will let him believe and whosoever wills let him disbelieve.” (Qur’an 18:29)
Surrender yourself. Believe in preordainment, before pangs of anger and regret overwhelm you, If you have done all that was in your power, and afterward what you had been striving against still take places, have firm faith that it was meant to be, DO not say, Had I done such and such, such and such would have happened: rather say” This is the decree of Allah and what He wishes, He does.
I wish I could say to him - Don't be sad, there is no need to despair, never ever give up hope. Just continue to do your best, pray to Allah swt and tawakal. Whatever wrongs we have done in the past, ask Allah for HIS forgiveness and we discontinue doing it.
And your Lord says: "Call on Me; I will answer your (Prayer): But those who are too arrogant to serve Me will surely find themselves in Hell in humiliation!" (Al Ghafir: 60).
Wallahu'alam.
Someone asked me this morning, why are all these (bad incidents) happening to him. Whose fault is it? Is it his? One bad thing after another keeps befalling him lately. At least he felt so. He felt like Allah swt is not answering his prayers, instead HE is punishing him. AstaghfiruLlah hal'aziim. Like Maknjang said before, we have to bersangka baik dengan Allah swt and we cannot give up hope, but Maknjang just cannot say this to him. Maknjang istighfar dalam hati saja.
So who or what is to be blamed?. Bad management, bad maintenance, the supernatural, bad karma?
Whatever happen to us, happens for a reason. We have to look deep inside ourselves to find out why. Not outside and start to blame others. Stop blaming others. Muhasabah ourselves. (Don't think that there will be no repercussions to our actions, the wrong ones, especially) . When we feel that ALlah swt is punishing us, our conscience is telling us that we must have done something wrong, whether we realise it or not. Seek forgiveness from Allah swt for HE is All Forgiving. Maybe Allah swt is testing us, pray to Allah swt for the strength to overcome the hardship we are facing and succeed in the test. Allah swt will not test us unless HE has provided us with the means to overcome it. Be thankful to HIM for the hardship has brought us closer to HIM.
So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: (5) Verily with every difficulty there is relief. (6) (As-Sharh).
I wish I could share the following excerpt from La Tahzan with him:-
No calamity be falls on the earth or in yourselves but is inscribed in the Book of decrees- before We bring it into existence (Qur’an 57:22)
The pen has dried, the pages have been lifted, all events that shall come to pass have already been written.
“Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us” (Qur’an 9:51)
Whatever has befallen you was not meant to escape you, and whatever has escaped you was not meant to be fall you, if you this belief were to be firmly ingrained in your heart, then all hardship and difficulty would become ease and comfort.
The Prophet (bpuh) said: “Whoever Allah wishes good for, He inflicts him (with hardship).” For this reason, do not feel overly troubled if you are afflicted with sickness, the death of a son , or a loss in wealth. Allah has decreed these matters to occur and the decisions are His and His alone, when we truly have this faith, we shall be rewarded well and our sin shall be atoned for.
For those that are afflicted with disaster, glad tidings await them : so remain patient and happy with your lord. “He cannot be questioned as to what He does, while they will be questioned” (Qur’an 21:23)
You will never completely feel at ease until you firmly believe that Allah has already pre ordained all matters, The pen has dried and with it has been written everything that will happen to you. Therefore do not feel remorse over that which is not in your hands. Do not think that you could have prevented the fence from falling, the water from flowing, the wind from blowing, or the glass from breaking you could not have prevented there thinks, whether you wanted to or not, all that has been preordained shall come to pass “then whosoever will let him believe and whosoever wills let him disbelieve.” (Qur’an 18:29)
Surrender yourself. Believe in preordainment, before pangs of anger and regret overwhelm you, If you have done all that was in your power, and afterward what you had been striving against still take places, have firm faith that it was meant to be, DO not say, Had I done such and such, such and such would have happened: rather say” This is the decree of Allah and what He wishes, He does.
I wish I could say to him - Don't be sad, there is no need to despair, never ever give up hope. Just continue to do your best, pray to Allah swt and tawakal. Whatever wrongs we have done in the past, ask Allah for HIS forgiveness and we discontinue doing it.
And your Lord says: "Call on Me; I will answer your (Prayer): But those who are too arrogant to serve Me will surely find themselves in Hell in humiliation!" (Al Ghafir: 60).
Wallahu'alam.
What we think about, we bring about
That was what I put as my status at Google Talk. Gtalk is the official chat engine used at work right now. The old chat engine sudah kaput.
The quote is of course a copycat, as if people don't know la kan?
Apa yang kita fikirkan atau yang kita niatkan, itulah yang kita dapat. The followings are definitely cetak rompak.
Daripada Amirul Mukminin Abu Hafs, Umar bin al-Khattab r.a katanya: "Aku mendengar Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda: "Bahawasanya segala amalan itu adalah dengan niat dan setiap orang mendapat (pahala) berdasarkan apa yang dia niatkan. Sesiapa yang berhijrah kerana Allah dan Rasul-Nya, maka hijrahnya itu adalah bagi Allah dan Rasul-Nya. Sesiapa yang berhijrah kerana dunia yang akan diperolehinya atau kerana perempuan yang ingin dikahwininya, maka hijrahnya itu adalah kepada apa yang dia niatkan. "
“Allah berfirman: Aku sentiasa bersama apa yang disangkakan oleh hamba-Ku kepada-Ku. Aku bersamanya apabila dia mengingati-Ku. Jika dia berzikir dalam dirinya Aku akan mengingatinya seperti itu juga. Jika dia berzikir di khalayak ramai, Aku akan mengingatinya di khalayak yang lebih baik dari itu. Jika dia mendekati-Ku sejengkal, Aku akan mendekatinya sehasta. Jika dia mendekati-Ku sehasta, Aku akan mendekatinya sedepa. Jika dia datang kepada-Ku berjalan, Aku akan datang kepadanya dengan berlari-lari anak.” (Al-Bukhari)
Apa yang Maknjang cuba nak ingatkan diri Maknjang ialah untuk sentiasa berniat baik dalam apa saja pekerjaan yang Maknjang lakukan dan senantiasa bersangka baik dengan Allah swt.
The quote is of course a copycat, as if people don't know la kan?
Apa yang kita fikirkan atau yang kita niatkan, itulah yang kita dapat. The followings are definitely cetak rompak.
Daripada Amirul Mukminin Abu Hafs, Umar bin al-Khattab r.a katanya: "Aku mendengar Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda: "Bahawasanya segala amalan itu adalah dengan niat dan setiap orang mendapat (pahala) berdasarkan apa yang dia niatkan. Sesiapa yang berhijrah kerana Allah dan Rasul-Nya, maka hijrahnya itu adalah bagi Allah dan Rasul-Nya. Sesiapa yang berhijrah kerana dunia yang akan diperolehinya atau kerana perempuan yang ingin dikahwininya, maka hijrahnya itu adalah kepada apa yang dia niatkan. "
“Allah berfirman: Aku sentiasa bersama apa yang disangkakan oleh hamba-Ku kepada-Ku. Aku bersamanya apabila dia mengingati-Ku. Jika dia berzikir dalam dirinya Aku akan mengingatinya seperti itu juga. Jika dia berzikir di khalayak ramai, Aku akan mengingatinya di khalayak yang lebih baik dari itu. Jika dia mendekati-Ku sejengkal, Aku akan mendekatinya sehasta. Jika dia mendekati-Ku sehasta, Aku akan mendekatinya sedepa. Jika dia datang kepada-Ku berjalan, Aku akan datang kepadanya dengan berlari-lari anak.” (Al-Bukhari)
Apa yang Maknjang cuba nak ingatkan diri Maknjang ialah untuk sentiasa berniat baik dalam apa saja pekerjaan yang Maknjang lakukan dan senantiasa bersangka baik dengan Allah swt.
- Bila Allah cepat makbulkan doamu, maka Dia menyayangimu
- Bila Dia lambat makbulkan doamu, maka Dia ingin mengujimu
- Bila Dia tidak makbulkan doamu, maka Dia merancang sesuatu yang lebih baik untukmu
Wallahu'alam.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Rukun Solat
Rukun Solat terdiri daripada 13 perkara:
- Niat
- Takbiratul ihram
- Berdiri betul bagi orang yang berupaya
- Membaca surah Al-Fatihah
- Rukuk serta tomaqninah
- Iktidal serta tomaqninah
- Sujud serta tomaqninah
- Duduk antara dua sujud
- Duduk tahiyat akhir
- Membaca tahiyat akhir
- Membaca salawat ke atas nabi dalam tahiyat akhir
- Memberi salam yang pertama
- Tertib
Saturday, May 22, 2010
At the Crossroad
Not really, or is it?. Sometimes I do not know what to think, how to think. At the moment, I will not commit to anything. Whatever suggestions he make pertaining to my working for him, part time or full time, from home or from the ASSociation office, until September 2011 or to continue or whatever, I will just listen and keep my mouth shut!
Office mates = long time/term buddies = gossip buddies = people in the same boat = people who share almost the same experience = people who has seen first hand how I have been treated all these years are in the opinion that I should just leave. Full stop. No turning back. They even criticised my decision to agree to stay as the Honorary Treasurer of the ASSociation, saying "you ni baik sangat, he does not deserve your baik-ness". (For the record, I agreed to this because of the 15+ years of employment, I am grateful, never say that I am not!. That is the only reason I agreed to remain as the HT until the end of this term, because if I were to leave, havoc! He knows that.)
Group of Friends (1) = killerladies = 40 something lunch buddies - mixed opinion. Some say, give him a second chance. Min says, don't fall into the trap, again.
Group of Friends (2) = people I know from previous employment advice me to think properly, what is good for me, put him and his company out of the equation. For once just think of Maknjang.
Family = people I would die for and hope that they would die for me too - I do not know.. nobody gives any opinion as I did not ask. Normally with them I would just tell them what I want to do, maybe because they know, whatever they say, in the end I would just do what ever I want to do. But one thing for sure, after I deliberated to abah the real reason of leaving, he agreed that I should leave. I have not told them about his plan for me to work part time from home, yet. Mak as usual is happy and will be happy with whatever I want to do and I know she is happy that I am moving back home.
Here is the situation right now. I have formally tendered my resignation (again, the first letter which he rejected is missing). I know this time he will accept it and we have discussed about how I will handover my work to the respective staffs. It was more like me telling him my plans of what I will do before I leave.
And then he will tell me his plans for me (I was like ... why?... I am leaving, can't you see?). Here is his plan.
1. I will continue to work for him, but from home, i.e. AS.
2. I will come down to KL, to the ASSociation's office, twice a month (staying 2 to 3 days each time).
3. I can claim traveling expenses and lodging (which later he said, maybe its cheaper for you to rent a house, why not rent a place, he said?.. errr.. I am just ending my tenancy, now you want me to continue renting pulak?)
4. He will pay me an allowance - which he has not mention how much; which I do not ask because I do not want to suggest that this is all about money. Because it is not.
I need money, I am not denying that. But my decision is not based on money. If it is, I will not resign, will I?, at least not until I am assured of when my next pay will come from. Even if I agree to his plan, it will not depend on how much he will pay me. It will be because I want to do it.
I do not know what to think. Like I said before, 15 years of working for someone, it would be lying to say that you will not develop any kind of feelings. He is someone I used lo look up to. I used to admire his wisdom, his hunger for knowledge, his generosity, his kindness ( why am I feeling so sad typing all this, is it out of disappointment?), his piousness. The good guy, the self made millionaire who kept humble. Basically I used to worship the ground he walked on. But he started to change. I wish I am imagining this. Sometime I do not recognise this person anymore. Where did that person who called me at 6:45am asking me to come for an interview and on the same day offered me a job with his "small" company. The man who introduced himself as a nobody who is struggling to make it in this world. Once in a while I saw a glimpse of that person in him but it will disappear the minute he started to talk. Arrogance?
Back to my feelings. Kesian, yes. There is no question about me staying. I am leaving. I have to, because I can't stay. No matter how kesian I feel, I just can't stay. To stay means going against my principles. Definitely cannot stay. Now, how about this working from home business. I know that if I disagree to this, there is no one at all at the moment who can take over managing the cashflow for the four main companies. I have been handling this since 1994, no one else. I can teach someone else to take over, but who? It does not seem like he is willing to trust anybody else right now except maybe Mami. But bukan nak kata Mami tak pandai, but because Mami has never done this, Mami pon tak confident. Another issue is that, there is no one in the company who is qualified to be appointed as the company secretary. He tried to employ someone qualified but at the eleventh hour, that girl rejected the offer. Who wouldn't. Strategy sudah salah, bah!. Who would join a company if you are being interviewed by a father-daughter team and was told not to deal with HR, just communicate with the daughter. Would you? Don't you find like there is a story here? Furthermore if you are still in employment and not that desperate to leave. Would you consider leaving to join a company such as this? Out of the frying pan, into the fire, ain't it?
At the moment, I am just taking it one day at a time. I will just do whatever I have to do to tie up loose ends. Teach whatever people want to learn from me. Come end of June, I will go back to AS for a while and come back to KL for the tennis tournaments and audit of the ASSociation's accounts. As for the audit of the company, I will only help if my help is needed. Otherwise, after the tournament is over, I will concentrate on that project I have in mind. Two projects actually.
Pray for me, please.
Office mates = long time/term buddies = gossip buddies = people in the same boat = people who share almost the same experience = people who has seen first hand how I have been treated all these years are in the opinion that I should just leave. Full stop. No turning back. They even criticised my decision to agree to stay as the Honorary Treasurer of the ASSociation, saying "you ni baik sangat, he does not deserve your baik-ness". (For the record, I agreed to this because of the 15+ years of employment, I am grateful, never say that I am not!. That is the only reason I agreed to remain as the HT until the end of this term, because if I were to leave, havoc! He knows that.)
Group of Friends (1) = killerladies = 40 something lunch buddies - mixed opinion. Some say, give him a second chance. Min says, don't fall into the trap, again.
Group of Friends (2) = people I know from previous employment advice me to think properly, what is good for me, put him and his company out of the equation. For once just think of Maknjang.
Family = people I would die for and hope that they would die for me too - I do not know.. nobody gives any opinion as I did not ask. Normally with them I would just tell them what I want to do, maybe because they know, whatever they say, in the end I would just do what ever I want to do. But one thing for sure, after I deliberated to abah the real reason of leaving, he agreed that I should leave. I have not told them about his plan for me to work part time from home, yet. Mak as usual is happy and will be happy with whatever I want to do and I know she is happy that I am moving back home.
Here is the situation right now. I have formally tendered my resignation (again, the first letter which he rejected is missing). I know this time he will accept it and we have discussed about how I will handover my work to the respective staffs. It was more like me telling him my plans of what I will do before I leave.
And then he will tell me his plans for me (I was like ... why?... I am leaving, can't you see?). Here is his plan.
1. I will continue to work for him, but from home, i.e. AS.
2. I will come down to KL, to the ASSociation's office, twice a month (staying 2 to 3 days each time).
3. I can claim traveling expenses and lodging (which later he said, maybe its cheaper for you to rent a house, why not rent a place, he said?.. errr.. I am just ending my tenancy, now you want me to continue renting pulak?)
4. He will pay me an allowance - which he has not mention how much; which I do not ask because I do not want to suggest that this is all about money. Because it is not.
I need money, I am not denying that. But my decision is not based on money. If it is, I will not resign, will I?, at least not until I am assured of when my next pay will come from. Even if I agree to his plan, it will not depend on how much he will pay me. It will be because I want to do it.
I do not know what to think. Like I said before, 15 years of working for someone, it would be lying to say that you will not develop any kind of feelings. He is someone I used lo look up to. I used to admire his wisdom, his hunger for knowledge, his generosity, his kindness ( why am I feeling so sad typing all this, is it out of disappointment?), his piousness. The good guy, the self made millionaire who kept humble. Basically I used to worship the ground he walked on. But he started to change. I wish I am imagining this. Sometime I do not recognise this person anymore. Where did that person who called me at 6:45am asking me to come for an interview and on the same day offered me a job with his "small" company. The man who introduced himself as a nobody who is struggling to make it in this world. Once in a while I saw a glimpse of that person in him but it will disappear the minute he started to talk. Arrogance?
Back to my feelings. Kesian, yes. There is no question about me staying. I am leaving. I have to, because I can't stay. No matter how kesian I feel, I just can't stay. To stay means going against my principles. Definitely cannot stay. Now, how about this working from home business. I know that if I disagree to this, there is no one at all at the moment who can take over managing the cashflow for the four main companies. I have been handling this since 1994, no one else. I can teach someone else to take over, but who? It does not seem like he is willing to trust anybody else right now except maybe Mami. But bukan nak kata Mami tak pandai, but because Mami has never done this, Mami pon tak confident. Another issue is that, there is no one in the company who is qualified to be appointed as the company secretary. He tried to employ someone qualified but at the eleventh hour, that girl rejected the offer. Who wouldn't. Strategy sudah salah, bah!. Who would join a company if you are being interviewed by a father-daughter team and was told not to deal with HR, just communicate with the daughter. Would you? Don't you find like there is a story here? Furthermore if you are still in employment and not that desperate to leave. Would you consider leaving to join a company such as this? Out of the frying pan, into the fire, ain't it?
At the moment, I am just taking it one day at a time. I will just do whatever I have to do to tie up loose ends. Teach whatever people want to learn from me. Come end of June, I will go back to AS for a while and come back to KL for the tennis tournaments and audit of the ASSociation's accounts. As for the audit of the company, I will only help if my help is needed. Otherwise, after the tournament is over, I will concentrate on that project I have in mind. Two projects actually.
Pray for me, please.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Tetamu Senja
Tetamu Senja ~ A. Samad Said
--------------------------------
Kita datang ini hanya sebagai tetamu senja
Bila cukup detik kembalilah
Kita kepadanya
Kita datang ini kosong tangan dada
Bila pulang nanti bawa dosa bawa pahala
Pada tetamu yang datang dan
Kenal jalan pulang
Bawalah bakti mesra kepada
Tuhan kepada Insan
Pada tetamu yang datang
Dan lupa jalan pulang
Usahlah derhaka pula
Pada Tuhan kepada insan
Bila kita lihat manusia lupa tempat
Atau segera sesat puja darjat
Puja pangkat
Segera kita insaf kita ini punya kiblat
Segera kita ingat kita ini punya tekad
Bila kita lihat manusia terbiar larat
Hingga mesti merempat ke laut biru
Ke kuning darat
Harus kita lekas sedar penuh pada tugas
Harus kita tegas sembah
Seluruh rasa belas
Kita datang ini satu roh satu jasad
Bila pulang nanti bawa bakti padat berkat
Kita datang ini satu roh satu jasad
Bila pulang nanti bawa bakti padat berkat
~ A. Samad Said
--------------------------------
Kita datang ini hanya sebagai tetamu senja
Bila cukup detik kembalilah
Kita kepadanya
Kita datang ini kosong tangan dada
Bila pulang nanti bawa dosa bawa pahala
Pada tetamu yang datang dan
Kenal jalan pulang
Bawalah bakti mesra kepada
Tuhan kepada Insan
Pada tetamu yang datang
Dan lupa jalan pulang
Usahlah derhaka pula
Pada Tuhan kepada insan
Bila kita lihat manusia lupa tempat
Atau segera sesat puja darjat
Puja pangkat
Segera kita insaf kita ini punya kiblat
Segera kita ingat kita ini punya tekad
Bila kita lihat manusia terbiar larat
Hingga mesti merempat ke laut biru
Ke kuning darat
Harus kita lekas sedar penuh pada tugas
Harus kita tegas sembah
Seluruh rasa belas
Kita datang ini satu roh satu jasad
Bila pulang nanti bawa bakti padat berkat
Kita datang ini satu roh satu jasad
Bila pulang nanti bawa bakti padat berkat
~ A. Samad Said
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Time flies as it always does
Ever since Maknjang dah decide to resign ni, masa berjalan begitu pantas sekali. Sedaq2 dah tengah bulan. Maknjang has less that 5 weeks to tie up loose ends. Macam-macam nak kena buat ni. But that is not what Maknjang wants to ramble today.
Demi masa, sesungguhnya manusia itu di dalam kerugian, kecuali bagi mereka yang berpesan kepada kebaikan dan kebenaran. Pagi tadi Maknjang dengar motivasi pagi on Radio Ikim. Although the topic was not on masa but Ustaz Zamri was talking about bertawasul dengan kebajikan yang telah kita lakukan. Contoh, when we are in bermasalah and dah tak tau apa nak buat dah, kita boleh berdoa pada Allah taala dengan bertawasul dengan kebaikan yang dah kita buat. Let's say kita pernah bagi makan pada orang yang kelaparan, we can doa 'Ya Allah, dulu aku pernah tolong seorang hambaMu yang sedang kelaparan, walaupon aku cuma ada sebungkus nasi, aku amat kasihan melihat dia Ya Allah, lalu aku berikan nasi itu kepadanya. Ya Allah, jika itu amalan ku itu ikhlas aku lakukan keranaMu Ya Allah, bebaskan lah aku dari masalah ini Ya Allah"
So that make me think. In a few weeks, I will be turning 44. Dalam masa 44 tahun dah hidup ni, adakah sebarang amalan baik yang ikhlas yang Maknjang lakukan yang boleh Maknjang bertawasul dengannya? Ada ka? Puas jugak Maknjang duk fikir ni. Seram sejuk Maknjang rasa sebab I can't think of any. Dalam kerugian kah masa hayat Maknjang ni???? Things has got to change.
Seriau. Things have definitely gotta change. Gotta live like we're dying.
Wallahu'alam
Demi masa, sesungguhnya manusia itu di dalam kerugian, kecuali bagi mereka yang berpesan kepada kebaikan dan kebenaran. Pagi tadi Maknjang dengar motivasi pagi on Radio Ikim. Although the topic was not on masa but Ustaz Zamri was talking about bertawasul dengan kebajikan yang telah kita lakukan. Contoh, when we are in bermasalah and dah tak tau apa nak buat dah, kita boleh berdoa pada Allah taala dengan bertawasul dengan kebaikan yang dah kita buat. Let's say kita pernah bagi makan pada orang yang kelaparan, we can doa 'Ya Allah, dulu aku pernah tolong seorang hambaMu yang sedang kelaparan, walaupon aku cuma ada sebungkus nasi, aku amat kasihan melihat dia Ya Allah, lalu aku berikan nasi itu kepadanya. Ya Allah, jika itu amalan ku itu ikhlas aku lakukan keranaMu Ya Allah, bebaskan lah aku dari masalah ini Ya Allah"
So that make me think. In a few weeks, I will be turning 44. Dalam masa 44 tahun dah hidup ni, adakah sebarang amalan baik yang ikhlas yang Maknjang lakukan yang boleh Maknjang bertawasul dengannya? Ada ka? Puas jugak Maknjang duk fikir ni. Seram sejuk Maknjang rasa sebab I can't think of any. Dalam kerugian kah masa hayat Maknjang ni???? Things has got to change.
Seriau. Things have definitely gotta change. Gotta live like we're dying.
Wallahu'alam
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Another Goodbye
April 2000 was when it started. He was talked into reviving the equestrian event and he succumbed to it. I got myself pulled into it halfway into the project when they started talking about money. When I saw her the first time, I knew why. No need to put in the details as it may falls into the "fitnah" category. But yes, we knew why.
With zero experience in horses let alone organising an event of one, I was suddenly in the middle of it all having to man the Secretariat. Only Salwa and I struggling like mad women, we were. We hardly eat nor sleep that whole week. I remembered the both of us doing the prize money until 3am and have to be at the venue at 6am. The secretariat were located away from where the event were held and there was no food at all where we were. We can't leave the Secretariat because of the stream of people coming and going, so we ended up not eating! The first time we held the event, we did not even had the chance to see any showjumping or have the slightest idea of what dressage was all about. What we did all day was, looking for staplers, pen, pencil, papers, strings, give out money to buy this and that, give away prize money, photostate this and that and attend to inquiries of things we hardly knew about but somehow we sailed through!
That same year in September, we held the second event, this time more people were involved and at least now we knew what to prepare so it got less chaotic but this time we had more participation, so there we went again, no sleep, no eat... working like mad women!
From then till now, we have had more than 10 similar events already and every year we improvise until it came to a stage that we were already on autopilot. Just push the on button and we knew what to. I was in charge of the whole operations (or at least, I think so!) until 2 years ago... but I was still doing all the more important things, while others take the credits, but I don't mind.. I really do not mind. I did not do this for the glory of it, I just did it because I have to do it. Part of my job.
The event is going on right now, here where I work. But this time, I am not involved at all. I feel kind of sad as I was one of the pioneer. But what to do, ayam makan, itik sudu... They felt that have learned enough and they can do better than I ever was, who needs an old hag anymore, anyway?
I am leaving in a few minutes and I am not coming tomorrow... So long, farewell its time to say good bye... adieu adieu....
With zero experience in horses let alone organising an event of one, I was suddenly in the middle of it all having to man the Secretariat. Only Salwa and I struggling like mad women, we were. We hardly eat nor sleep that whole week. I remembered the both of us doing the prize money until 3am and have to be at the venue at 6am. The secretariat were located away from where the event were held and there was no food at all where we were. We can't leave the Secretariat because of the stream of people coming and going, so we ended up not eating! The first time we held the event, we did not even had the chance to see any showjumping or have the slightest idea of what dressage was all about. What we did all day was, looking for staplers, pen, pencil, papers, strings, give out money to buy this and that, give away prize money, photostate this and that and attend to inquiries of things we hardly knew about but somehow we sailed through!
That same year in September, we held the second event, this time more people were involved and at least now we knew what to prepare so it got less chaotic but this time we had more participation, so there we went again, no sleep, no eat... working like mad women!
From then till now, we have had more than 10 similar events already and every year we improvise until it came to a stage that we were already on autopilot. Just push the on button and we knew what to. I was in charge of the whole operations (or at least, I think so!) until 2 years ago... but I was still doing all the more important things, while others take the credits, but I don't mind.. I really do not mind. I did not do this for the glory of it, I just did it because I have to do it. Part of my job.
The event is going on right now, here where I work. But this time, I am not involved at all. I feel kind of sad as I was one of the pioneer. But what to do, ayam makan, itik sudu... They felt that have learned enough and they can do better than I ever was, who needs an old hag anymore, anyway?
I am leaving in a few minutes and I am not coming tomorrow... So long, farewell its time to say good bye... adieu adieu....
Thursday, May 13, 2010
You can't take it with you when you go...
Yesterday morning, as with a lot of other mornings before this, I have to mengadap. We will discuss about how much money he has left, how much longer his money will last and he will talk down on me... that's the usual agenda and all I did was just sit there and listen to him grumbling about me taking a short cut, about my mistakes, my weaknesses. I have heard them before, many many times before. It used to hurt but not anymore
Yesterday, he was also grumbling about how hard he has worked all his life but to the benefits of others. He talked about having to provide for his family, his brothers.. bla bla bla... I was like.. duh!!! He went on and on and on. I do not know what came over me as usually I would just sit there, kept mum and just listen. Yesterday, when he stopped, I said "Betullah tu, that's why you are here on bumi Allah. That's your purpose. Unless you can take all it with you to the grave, you can continue to rant. Otherwise, just accept it". This is not the first time he rambled about this; its been going on for years and he will complaint that people that he has helped are not grateful to him and so on and on and on he will continue.
You can't take it (your wealth) with you when you go and you have to accept the reason why Allah swt put us here. Life on this earth is just too short, so stop complaining and find your purpose in life. If the purpose of life is to become wealthy, there would be no purpose after becoming wealthy. There is a reason why Allah swt shower you with wealth. Yours is to ensure that you can provide for the ones you love and the ones who depended on you. So just be thankful to HIM for giving you the opportunity and the ability to help others.
Wallahu'alam
Jumaat Mubarak everyone.
Yesterday, he was also grumbling about how hard he has worked all his life but to the benefits of others. He talked about having to provide for his family, his brothers.. bla bla bla... I was like.. duh!!! He went on and on and on. I do not know what came over me as usually I would just sit there, kept mum and just listen. Yesterday, when he stopped, I said "Betullah tu, that's why you are here on bumi Allah. That's your purpose. Unless you can take all it with you to the grave, you can continue to rant. Otherwise, just accept it". This is not the first time he rambled about this; its been going on for years and he will complaint that people that he has helped are not grateful to him and so on and on and on he will continue.
You can't take it (your wealth) with you when you go and you have to accept the reason why Allah swt put us here. Life on this earth is just too short, so stop complaining and find your purpose in life. If the purpose of life is to become wealthy, there would be no purpose after becoming wealthy. There is a reason why Allah swt shower you with wealth. Yours is to ensure that you can provide for the ones you love and the ones who depended on you. So just be thankful to HIM for giving you the opportunity and the ability to help others.
Wallahu'alam
Jumaat Mubarak everyone.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Happy Days
Mak, Abah and the youngest brother are in town. They are here because we have not been home since early January! Its quite complicated really but anyhow, things are looking better. Happy days ahead.
I have not a slightest idea of what to write today so I will just go along with what comes to mind. I am listening to Barbara Streisand and Barry Gibb's What Kind of Fool. Its not a song one would remember unless they went to MRSM Kulim from 1979 to 1983 and has a teacher named Rosemary Lovely who taught them English. In the english lab, other than listening The War of the World narrated by Richard Burton, we would be listening to this song. Yes, 15 years old (which is so not the same as 15 years old nowadays) and was asked to elaborate the meaning to this lyrics :-
Barbara Streisand & Barry Gibb - What Kind of Fool
There was a time when we were down and out
There was a place when we were starting over
We let the vow break
we let the heartache in
Who's sorry now?
There was a world when we were standing still
And for a moment we were separated
And then you found her
you let the stranger in
Who's sorry now
who's sorry now?
What, what kind of fool tears it apart
Leaving me pain and sorrow
Losin' you now
Wondering why.
Where will I be tomorrow?
There was a time when we were down and out.
There was a place when we were starting over.
We let the vow break
we let the heartache in
Who's sorry now
who's sorry now?
What, what kind of fool tears it apart
Leaving me pain and sorrow
Losin' you now.
How can I win
Were will I be tomorrow?
Was there a moment
when I cut you down
Played around.
What have I done
I only apologize for being as they say
The last to know
It has to show when
someone is in your eyes.
What, what kind of fool tears it apart
Leaving me pain and sorrow
Losin' you now
Wondering why.
Where will I be tomorrow?
Back then, there was no internet so there is no way we could google for the lyrics, what we did was to play the song over and over and over again. Sampai chemuih!
Lately, at the office, Shila and I are into karau-ing as in karau-okay, but the not so okay version. I'd be the deejay and accepting requests. We would be singing to songs from Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert, Boyz II Men, Kool and the Gang, Michael Buble, Michael Jackson and many more.. any genre, old and new. If we don't know the lyrics, its either hentam sajalah or we would google them. Fun eh? Yesterday however was dedicated to Mami who has recently returned to work after a long MC. So hindi songs it was. Not the current hits though, we don't know any new hindi songs but we went back to the Yaadon Ki Bharat, Bobby, Aa Gale Lag Ja's era. Mami can sing them all!!!! I am currently googling for the John Jonny Jonathan tar ra ram taram taram's video and lyrics.. he he he.. Found it! Wanted to post it here, unfortunately EMBED IS DISABLED!
We are thinking that today is Mayumi Itsuwa's day... so I better get googling fast. The deejay has to be prepared. I still have not found the song we used in our Bushido Blade way back when, during the Drama fest; the Theta girls won Best Script for it! If only I can have a copy of the script.... who has it now?... it started with.. What's the uproar all about? Memories....
Ta for now... Mayumi Itsuwa!
I have not a slightest idea of what to write today so I will just go along with what comes to mind. I am listening to Barbara Streisand and Barry Gibb's What Kind of Fool. Its not a song one would remember unless they went to MRSM Kulim from 1979 to 1983 and has a teacher named Rosemary Lovely who taught them English. In the english lab, other than listening The War of the World narrated by Richard Burton, we would be listening to this song. Yes, 15 years old (which is so not the same as 15 years old nowadays) and was asked to elaborate the meaning to this lyrics :-
Barbara Streisand & Barry Gibb - What Kind of Fool
There was a time when we were down and out
There was a place when we were starting over
We let the vow break
we let the heartache in
Who's sorry now?
There was a world when we were standing still
And for a moment we were separated
And then you found her
you let the stranger in
Who's sorry now
who's sorry now?
What, what kind of fool tears it apart
Leaving me pain and sorrow
Losin' you now
Wondering why.
Where will I be tomorrow?
There was a time when we were down and out.
There was a place when we were starting over.
We let the vow break
we let the heartache in
Who's sorry now
who's sorry now?
What, what kind of fool tears it apart
Leaving me pain and sorrow
Losin' you now.
How can I win
Were will I be tomorrow?
Was there a moment
when I cut you down
Played around.
What have I done
I only apologize for being as they say
The last to know
It has to show when
someone is in your eyes.
What, what kind of fool tears it apart
Leaving me pain and sorrow
Losin' you now
Wondering why.
Where will I be tomorrow?
Back then, there was no internet so there is no way we could google for the lyrics, what we did was to play the song over and over and over again. Sampai chemuih!
Lately, at the office, Shila and I are into karau-ing as in karau-okay, but the not so okay version. I'd be the deejay and accepting requests. We would be singing to songs from Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert, Boyz II Men, Kool and the Gang, Michael Buble, Michael Jackson and many more.. any genre, old and new. If we don't know the lyrics, its either hentam sajalah or we would google them. Fun eh? Yesterday however was dedicated to Mami who has recently returned to work after a long MC. So hindi songs it was. Not the current hits though, we don't know any new hindi songs but we went back to the Yaadon Ki Bharat, Bobby, Aa Gale Lag Ja's era. Mami can sing them all!!!! I am currently googling for the John Jonny Jonathan tar ra ram taram taram's video and lyrics.. he he he.. Found it! Wanted to post it here, unfortunately EMBED IS DISABLED!
We are thinking that today is Mayumi Itsuwa's day... so I better get googling fast. The deejay has to be prepared. I still have not found the song we used in our Bushido Blade way back when, during the Drama fest; the Theta girls won Best Script for it! If only I can have a copy of the script.... who has it now?... it started with.. What's the uproar all about? Memories....
Ta for now... Mayumi Itsuwa!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Balancing Act
Accounting 101 anyone? was going to be the title of this post.
Ever since the reorganisation at the office and me leaving soon, I only have 3 staffs under me, yes you read it right, 3, t-h-r-e-e, tiga, rendek, tres..., anyways, with just 3 staffs, year end closing and the horse event coming up, I have to do a lot of things on my own. One of the thing is to prepare the account for the ASSociation. The last 3 days were spent doing the accounts from scratch, manually!, thus, the reason why there was no entry yesterday despite it being a Tuesday (like, who cares again?).
It was an experience, no less. I forgot how it felt (exhilarating, in fact) trying to assign what code to which transaction and in the end trying to balance all things up. When all things added up beautifully and balanced out nicely, oh boy!!! What a feeling, what a great feeling.
Which brings me to another issue on hand. I was filling an application form for a job up north and stop short at the question, WHAT MOTIVATES YOU. I was at a total lost... How can I not know what motivates me... maybe because I have not felt motivated for a long long time. I have been thinking about this for days now.
And then today we received news that the mother of a friend, passed away, Al Fatihah.
So how did the first bring me to the second and the third brings me back to the first. Confused much? Well, me too. This is all Allah's work. Things don't just happen, they happen for a reason.
1. I really want that job, its the kind of job I have been dreaming of.
2. The answer to the question WHAT MOTIVATES YOU will determine whether or not the application will be considered, that's why I want to be very careful with my answer.
3. I have to keep reminding myself why I want to move back home, I know why I am leaving my job, but why balik kampung, well that news we received today is crystal clear, if you catch my drift.
Because when I was doing all the numbers, I get excited like a kid at Christmas, I remember now what motivates me. Numbers, yes them numbers. I like playing with them. Solve problems with them. Forecast the future with them. Apply them. I can now answer that question truthfully. Now all I have to think about is what demotivates me, I know the answer to this, but I need to put them into words. I may need my sister's assistance on this. I really want a chance to be considered. Rezeki di tangan Allah, so as long as I have put in my best effort, all I have to do is doa and tawakal and leave everything to Allah swt.
Its midnight.. and I am sleepy. Reading back what I wrote, I realised I was not coherent, but who cares, its my blog, I can write whatever I want.
I still have one question though before I lay down by Abang Ayis side (please sing this to Kool and the gang's Cherish.. what am I meraban-ing ni?); okay that one question. How come its all quiet about what and why is the 15 year old doing driving a car at 2 in the morning?
Ever since the reorganisation at the office and me leaving soon, I only have 3 staffs under me, yes you read it right, 3, t-h-r-e-e, tiga, rendek, tres..., anyways, with just 3 staffs, year end closing and the horse event coming up, I have to do a lot of things on my own. One of the thing is to prepare the account for the ASSociation. The last 3 days were spent doing the accounts from scratch, manually!, thus, the reason why there was no entry yesterday despite it being a Tuesday (like, who cares again?).
It was an experience, no less. I forgot how it felt (exhilarating, in fact) trying to assign what code to which transaction and in the end trying to balance all things up. When all things added up beautifully and balanced out nicely, oh boy!!! What a feeling, what a great feeling.
Which brings me to another issue on hand. I was filling an application form for a job up north and stop short at the question, WHAT MOTIVATES YOU. I was at a total lost... How can I not know what motivates me... maybe because I have not felt motivated for a long long time. I have been thinking about this for days now.
And then today we received news that the mother of a friend, passed away, Al Fatihah.
So how did the first bring me to the second and the third brings me back to the first. Confused much? Well, me too. This is all Allah's work. Things don't just happen, they happen for a reason.
1. I really want that job, its the kind of job I have been dreaming of.
2. The answer to the question WHAT MOTIVATES YOU will determine whether or not the application will be considered, that's why I want to be very careful with my answer.
3. I have to keep reminding myself why I want to move back home, I know why I am leaving my job, but why balik kampung, well that news we received today is crystal clear, if you catch my drift.
Because when I was doing all the numbers, I get excited like a kid at Christmas, I remember now what motivates me. Numbers, yes them numbers. I like playing with them. Solve problems with them. Forecast the future with them. Apply them. I can now answer that question truthfully. Now all I have to think about is what demotivates me, I know the answer to this, but I need to put them into words. I may need my sister's assistance on this. I really want a chance to be considered. Rezeki di tangan Allah, so as long as I have put in my best effort, all I have to do is doa and tawakal and leave everything to Allah swt.
Its midnight.. and I am sleepy. Reading back what I wrote, I realised I was not coherent, but who cares, its my blog, I can write whatever I want.
I still have one question though before I lay down by Abang Ayis side (please sing this to Kool and the gang's Cherish.. what am I meraban-ing ni?); okay that one question. How come its all quiet about what and why is the 15 year old doing driving a car at 2 in the morning?
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