Nali

I do not know what to name the Post Title.

A few days ago, I received a friend add on FB. It was from a former classmate in MRSM. The last time I met her was in 1983, the tearful goodbyes at BM train station.

I accepted her friend request, chat with for a bit and then I told her I was going back home on Thursday and asked if she would mind if I were to make a slight detour and went to visit her at her house. She did not, so I did.


We were happy to see each other after more than 30 years. It was like we were never apart. Back in school I was mean towards her at times. She is the type that can easily be bullied. I am so sorry for what I did a long time ago. I hope she forgives me.

After SPM Nali completed her matrix courses but did not further her education. She chose to be a stay at home mom when she got married. She now has 5 kids, the eldest is 21 and the youngest is 7. She seems genuinely happy and it showed as she glowed with pride when she talked about her kids and her husband. Honestly, I have never met anyone my age to be so contended with her life. Meeting Nali the first time after more than 30 years was a humbling experience.I will definitely make more detours after this.

I was in tears driving back home. Thank you Allah for this reunion. I can't imagine me in Nali's shoes. I would have a lot to complaint! I cannot be as easily contended as Nali is.

I should learn to be more syukur and sabar.. syukur and sabar.... syukur and sabar.

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

Wallahu a'lam

So, how are you really?

A couple of days ago, I had an extra long lunch with a friend from way back when. The last time I met her was in Feb 2009 when she visited me in the hospital. Back when I had fibroids removed.

We seldom contacted each other, in fact I think from Feb 2009 to Jan 2013, we only made contact via sms at most 4 times!!

She had also left full time employment about a year ago. We shared a few things in common that way.

Then she asked me, so how are you really? To that, my answer was quite spontaneous. I said, I am very happy right now, Alhamdulillah. I could do better in the health department but otherwise, I am happy. I realised I no longer had to think of what to say when people ask me how am I, these days. The truth is at the moment I am the happiest as I have ever been. I cannot recollect being happier and more contented.

I realised I do not need much to feel this way. Long time ago, I thought you could only be happy and contented when you have all the things you wanted, dream job, huge income, big cars, big house, a husband and a couple or more children. You definitely have to have bank, that's what I thought. I cannot be more wrong. Look at me today, I live with my parents with meager income which I do not know whether it will stop coming the next month or the month after. I am driving the smallest and cheapest car ever! And yet I feel so free and so blessed... owh what a feeling! Thank you Allah!

The best part of it is that I now no longer yearn for things I cannot afford. I have very little needs and my wants are very few and very far in between and I am okay if I do not have them. Thank you Allah!.

May we all be in Allah's care forever and ever.


p/s, happy birthday to my bffs, Mazmin and Rohana. May our friendship never come apart.

46

That's the number of years I have lived on this planet. I believed that number is greater than the number of years I have left to live. I don't think I will live to see my 92nd birthday but Allah knows best.

As usual there is no celebration whatsoever but this year my birthday is kinda different. For one, the nephews in BJ remember my birthday and sang happy birthday to you at about 30 minutes past midnight, which no one has ever done for me before and I am so touched by it. The other, which to me is of great significance is that my nephew KH, gave me RM50 as a birthday gift (I guess he did not know what to buy so giving me money is the shortcut). Its not the money that moved me, but its what he said when he gave me the money. Maknjang, ni present dari Abang Ayis to show my appreciation of you.....  sebak, I tell you! Thank you very much my dear nephew for making my day, maybe even my year!

His brother also gave me money.... "Maknjang nah 50sen, I am broke you know, not like adik, adik tu kaya." Haih! he has to learn to manage his allowance better. His excuse for his failure to control his expenses is simple. "Allowance sikit sangat, macamana nak manage". Double haih!

Mak and Abah called to wish me happy birthday but Anna refused to talk to me when Mak passed the phone to her, all she can think of to say is "majang lagak!" he he he which means Maknjang berlagak. She wishes that I am back home, so whenever I am not, Maknjang ni berlagak la, sebab I did not take her along. Favourite sayings from Anna these days are "lagak!" "lekut!" for kedekut and "ana tamau kawan" and of course "ana nak ikut" despite earlier calling you names.. Anna is my 2 and half years old niece, by the way. She is my constant  (most of the time, my only) companion whenever I am back home.

Earlier in the morning I received another call. Dia tanya whether I am in KL or in Kedah and said that dia kat Langkawi. The best part of the conversation is that, instead of wishing me a happy birthday, dia reminded me that today is the 1st of July and therefore it is my birthday and went on to describe a person who are born with number 1, i.e. 1st or the 10th. I am supposed to be stubborn. Which I think I am not.... :)) . Every year its the same. Called me and told me its my birthday and never once wish me anything... funny or what? Maybe next year will be different, we shall wait and see.... maybe not! Tak kisahlah!


Officially my birthday is over. I am done thanking everybody who sent me smses and all the birthday wishes on facebook. I do hope and pray that as I grow older, my iman and taqwa will also increase. I pray that Allah blesses me with umur yang panjang didalam kebajikan dan iman, and when my time to leave this world comes, I will die in husnul khatimah.

To all my BFFs, you know who you are, thank you for the lunches, the gift, the tea and coffee etc etc. May our friendship stay strong forever and ever.

Happy 46th birthday Maknjang.

Kembali Ber-rima

Didalam blog Maknjang yang lama
Maknjang pernahlah berkata
Bila Maknjang hendak bercerita
Maknjang nak menulis dalam rima

Tadi Maknjang dan juga kawan-kawan
Melepak sambil makan-makan
Minum teh dan kopi di dalam cawan
Dua potong kek turut dipesan

Sambil makan sambil bercerita
Kami teruja mendengar berita
Bahawasanya Puan OCPD Melaka
Telah dianugerahkan cahayamata

Sekalung tahniah kami ucapkan
Diatas kehadiran bayi perempuan
Semoga menjadi anak yang beriman
Membesar menjadi suri teladan

Sedang kami riuh berbicara
Datang pula seorang penjaja
Jalannya bertongkat, susah berbicara
Menjual kerepek didalam raga

Simpati kami melihat penjaja
Usianya sudah lewat senja
Lemah pula segala anggota
Semoga Allah permudahkan hidup dia

Dua bungkus kerepek Roha beli
Sebab nak menolak pun tak sampai hati
Kerepek pisang dan kerepek keladi
Menjadi rezeki orang taman tabung haji

Penjaja masuk sekali lagi
Terhencut-hencut mencari pembeli
Roha memang seorang yang baik hati
Habis semua kerepek dia beli

Setakat ini dulu untuk kali ini
Kalau Maknjang rajin, esok berantri lagi
Maknjang nak siapkan kerja sebelum dinihari
Kerja yang dah bertangguh berhari-hari.

Owh ya, esok Maknjang nak ke kota
Tak sabar Maknjang nak jumpa Cik Remia!!!!

Soul bearing

and I am blaming the entire content of what I am about to write on my BFF Mazmin. So there! And I am writing because I am bored too! Outside mak tengah mengajaq mengaji and breakfast will follow, so I am stuck in this room for a while. I am done playing bejeweled blitz, I am seeing stars already!. I can't play literati because yahoo is acting up. I know I should be finishing some income earning working paper, but I am not in the mood for that. So I am going to revive this sawang gathering blog with another post. 

Why am I blaming Min for this post? Because Min made me think of what I never plan to think about. An issue I have resolved a long time ago and never imagine I would give it another thought.

My mind right now is quite kelam kabut, and I am somewhat dukacita and feeling kinda vulnerable. Cheewah! Boleh ka, vulnerable like that. What with TP (you know who he is if you have read my other blog) turning out to be the way he is right now (I do not talk to him anymore and I can't even bear the mention of his name  aaahhhh, I could write a book just on this topic alone.. but let's not go there), and youngest brother getting married and parents suddenly aging rapidly, (I am not imagining this, they are and so are we, I guess); timbul kebimbangan of what the future holds. Macamana kalau mak and abah dah tak dak? (Yes, its always a kalau, walhal, ajal adalah kepastian.Yang tak pastinya adalah, who will go first). What would become of me. Bila tua, kalau sakit... macam-macam. You know the drift. I know that these are bisikan-bisikan syaitan, kenapa pula kita perlu risaukan benda yang kita tak tau kesudahannya, yang penting kita hanya perlu terus berdoa agar Allah sentiasa menjaga kita dan tidak menduga kita dengan ujian yang kita tidak mampu untuk memikulnya. Kita perlu berbaik sangka dengan Allah swt. Bila teringat balik macam ni, lega sat. Lepas solat, doa panjang sikit. Then syaitan bisik lagi, mula terasa semak perut semula.

To be honest, when Epit started the joke in whatsapp, I felt a little "tersinggung". Originally I typed "terhina" but maybe that is too strong a word to use. I still feel that way, although I know that she did not mean to "hina" (I need to find another word for this, oh my bahasa!)  or anything close to that. She is just Epit, being Epit... a little girl at 45 pretending to be an adult and we will remain friends no matter what. Why do I feel that way, you may ask. Unless you are a 46 year old, single, short fat and ugly perempuan like me, you will never understand, even if you try. Seriously. Therefore when the joke continued, I just went along with it, trying not to make any comment, fearing that it might be misconstrued to mean something else. Before I proceed any further, I would like to make it clear that, I am not angry at Epit. Sikit pon dak. Her concern over her mother's anxieties is genuine, we would be the same if we were in her shoes. She has her mother's best interest in her heart. SubhanaAllah.

How could Epit ask me to consider her so called "proposal", even if was a mere joke amongst friends when all the individuals involved were not in the picture. Like Ja said, it should have been initiated by the person involved, not by nosy sisters. This is where I felt tersinggung... Picture this, nosy sister ask single, short fat and ugly.. and unemployed friend if she would consider being her sister in law... because "kesian mak aku, dia sunyi". If the friend is agreeable, "aku nak suruh mak aku tanya abang aku". Hello? What is wrong with this picture?

Just imagine, if I were so pendek akal and be so agreeable or maybe even jumped at the opportunity;  (to be - how shall I put this mildly, how did she sell her brother to me...a "datin" , nak satu row shophouses pon boleh .. etc). and the brother sikit pon tak hingin .. its quite hard to get passed the short fat and ugly part tu tau ........, where does that put me??? Malukan, macam tergedik-gedik like that kan. Epit, Epit... sedih aku tau. You make me feel so macam apalah when you started that joke. Janganlah buat macam ni lagi kat sesiapa pon, especially orang-orang yang in the same boat as me. It makes us look .. tak tau lah nak cakap macam mana. Macam tak kisahlah any tom, dick or harry (not that I am saying that your brother is just any tom dick or harry, I know he is a somebody, I am just saying), tak kisahlah kalau sekadar untuk dijadikan teman buat mak, kan as long as dapat kawin, afterall dahla tua, macam tong dram la pulak, sapa lagi yang mau kan...

Kalaulah, and I meant it as kalau saja okay, don't get any ideas pulak, your brother has already informed your mom that he wants her to look for a wife for him, tak kisahlah as long as mak dia suka... cerita kita mungkin berbeda. Pengakhirannya mungkin sama, tapi jalan ceritanya akan berlainan dan saya tidak akan rasa tersinggung.

Actually kan Epit, if your mother is really lonely, why don't you just ask us, yang duduk di sini, to once in a while drop by your house and keep your mom company, I wouldn't mind doing that at all. Memang itulah pon antara activiti bersama my mom pon, ziarah menziarahi.

Tutup cerita itu, kita move on to why Min makes me think. Marriage has been the furthest thing on my mind. I have pushed away any thought of ever getting married when I turned 35 or so. I am at peace with myself while resigning to the fact that Allah has preordained that I will lead a single life in this life. Mungkin in another life ada bidadara menanti? BUT I also know that there are three things we cannot control, Ajal, Rezeki and Jodoh. Bukan kerja kita untuk memikirkan ketiga-tiga hal ni, ini hak Allah. Therefore, marriage... not something I plan to think about.

Tak tau why, lately asyik duk bear my soul, first to Ja, then to Min. Maybe sebab youngest brother is getting married. No, I am not sad that he is getting married, I am sad because things does not go according to MY plan. How I foresee the future is that, when mak and abah are no longer with us (owh no!!!!! I typed it!!!!!)... youngest brother and family will continue to live in 410 and so will I, as this is my house. I even planned to hibah this house to youngest brother. Now, youngest brother is marrying someone from another state, far far away from here and it looks like he is interested to move to the future wife's state. I will not stop him if that is what he wants to do. Its his life. Perasaan saya sedikit dukacita tetapi ini adalah ketentuan Yang Maha Esa. Kebelakangan ni pulak, bila saya tengok Abah dan Mak, dah nampak aging sangat. Sayu hati bila tengok mak solat sunat sambil duduk. Syahdu bila tengok wajah abah, bila abah tidur. Terasa akan kehilangan mereka suatu hari nanti, dan saya berdoa agar hari-hari tersebut tiba lambat lagi. Kadang-kadang rasa ingin berdoa agar saya yang pergi dahulu kerana saya tidak sanggup untuk hidup tanpa mereka dan sebatang kara. Saya tahu tidak baik untuk berdoa sedemikian. Bukankan ajal dan maut itu ketentuan Allah swt. Satu lagi is the titi gantung I built more than 17 years ago.. I so badly want to burnt it to the ground but I can't. I still need the "alimony" to sustain my life as I do not have any other source of income. I want to be free of any entanglement with the titi gantung, selagi duk dapat monthly payment, selagi tu I am not free.. and I hate it. Semua perkara-perkara ni duk berserabut dalam kepala otak, ditambah pulak dengan surat layang, poison email, ugutan dan investigation from you know what. Lagi bertambah bingung. Maybe that was the reason why saya sensitif sangat kot dengan lawak Epit tu.

So, Min kata, maybe marriage is the answer (it maybe not)... it might rungkaikan segala kerisauan (it might also add more keresahan). So what if, tetiba ada lah pulak genuine proposal. What if??. .... Will I?.. Ya Allah, duk pikiaq buat apa tak tau... org sungai baru kata lets just cross the bridge if we get there. Ini belum jumpa mana-mana bridge, dah sebuk nak cross... ni semua, Min lah punya pasai.

Resah,

Maknjang.

p/s Min, orang sungai baru kata... ukur baju di badan sendiri, jangan duk tempah baju lagi.

A plan, a plan, we've come up with a plan!

A couple of weeks ago, the husband of a close friend, died. I have been feeling sayu ever since. He was 46. His death reminded me of my eldest brother who, 8 months ago brother passed away at 48. Both deaths were sudden. Inna lillahi wa inna ilai hi roji'un, Surely we belong to Allah and to HIM we shall return. May they rest with the solihins.

The lady of leisure R, took the jobless Maknjang to visit the recently widowed, the entrepreneurial Ij, yesterday. We visit with Ij for about 4 hours at her place in LMSP. Alhamdulillah Ij is coping well. Her 2 daughters were in school so we did not have a chance to meet them.

For the last 6 months or so, whenever the three of us met, we have been saying that we should start doing something beneficial with our time. We think that we should embark into a business together. We always joked that we want a business that requires the minimal of capital, the least of work and generates the most income. All our discussions always ended on that note. The only thing we ever resolved is that we need to do something but we never seriously discuss about how to do it. No plan.

Yesterday we recognised that Maknjang (not a discovery really, its been a fact for a while) needs to find ways to make money when her term ends this August, Ij needs to do some serious income generating project if not for the moolahs as she already has other "hobby" businesses which are giving her constant cashflow and her husband left her quite comfortable, IMHO but I think more so to fill her time. R the lady of leisure may not want to do this for the money but I think when your kids are all grown up, she too has a void that needs to be filled.

So there we were at Ij's dining table munching over popiahs, fried chicken and cut fruits talking about this and that and suddenly we reached that topic again. This time we decided that there shall be no more empty talks. Let's just put it this way. We have come up with a plan, a concept at least of what all three of us can do, Yay! We need to talk more and iron out the details. I feel good about this plan. It synergise with all my other angan-angan.

Let us dua that this will work and Allah swt will make it easy for us to achieve our target. InsyaAllah. I remember this saying I put up on the ASS's board. Never regret, if its good, its wonderful, if its bad its experience. We will never know until we try it.

I still owe A R L that cashflow that I am supposed to be checking but writing this post instead. Haih!

A New Leaf

Today is the 2nd day of turning 44 and also the 2nd day of a new leaf.

With no solid plan of what to do with the rest of my life, I am feeling quite good nevertheless. Not sure yet how I will feel in the next 4 or 5 months ahead when the money depleted. Let's not cross that bridge.. not until I reach there.

I was home for 5 days. I was full of enthusiasm, full of gusto when I started my journey home, I planned in my head and imagine myself cleaning my room, rearranging the furniture, organising this and that and get to sit down and do some paperwork. But when I got home, all my semangat went out of the window. The house was in a total mess! I do not know where to begin. I wanted to start with my bedroom then I realised that I do not have a wardrobe, so where do I put all my clothes. Boxes are everywhere. Furniture are haphazardly placed. Sigh! In my room, the only empty space was on the bed, only one side of it, reserved for me to sleep on, I supposed. And then I got the flu, so that's it. I have no energy to do anything and just let things be the way they are and left for KL yesterday. I even brought with me my dirty clothes for Rohaya to clean because I do not have the semangat to even do laundry.

I called Murni, the cleaner lady that we normally employ to help clean the house but she was not free. I have arranged for her to come to the house when I go home in a couple of weeks. But I have a dilemma. How do I do this without hurting my parents' feeling. My parents are borderline hoarders. They never throw things away. So, we have furniture that dated way back when and some has lost not only its shine or colour but also its shape. They keep all broken electrical appliances. There's 2 broken washing machines, 2 broken TVs, old radios, stand fan, table fan, name it, we have it somewhere in the house.

I want to throw away or giveaway things that we no longer need. I have to put my feet down and do this once and for all. Otherwise I do not think I will be able to live in that house without feeling rimas. I am not the cleanest or the tidiest person on earth, I am not but I just can't stand living in the house the way it is right now. I just can't.

Not that the house is bad just like it is, the younger brother pulak is using the living room as his workshop. Adoi, sungguh sakit mata ini melihatnya.

The dilemma is worst when the house is mine. If I were to be so MEM SAHAB-ly, I am afraid that they think, mentang-mentang lah ni rumah dia, and make some people and even worst if my parents feel uneasy. I just close one eye everytime I went home before this because I was just home for a few days. Let's not stir anything up, that has been my motto. But this time, I am going to stay there, insyaAllah for good. I just cannot live like that. I have to do something about it and lay down a few laws to the inhabitants, my parents excluded. As far as I am concerned, Mak and Abah can do as they please, as long as they are happy, but the rest of the people in the house has better get their act together. Mem Sahab is in the house!

Back to the new leaf, although I have no solid plan on how to earn money at least for the next 6 years, I am feeling good inside. I have this strange feeling that something good is on the horizon for me. I pray to Allah swt to guide me to the right path and shower me with His rahmat, hidayah and rezeki.

This afternoon at lunch, I told Zurin that Che Me'e is working in NZ. Suddenly she just said, lets do that Maknjang, lets just go to NZ, look for a job and stay there. If we are not happy, we come back. That's a thought....... to ponder?

Overwhelmed!

That was an understatement.

I was in the state of speechlessness for a few days now.

It is true, it matters not what other people think of you, what matters most is how you see yourself. But sometimes knowing how people felt and looked at you and how you affect their lifes do warm the heart.

The thing is, despite me saying over and over again that I hate farewell dos, especially if I were to be in the center of it, I mean seriously, are you that happy to see me go that you have to celebrate it with a bang, seriously?.. the staffs still insisted on having one. What to do, takkan nak menghampakan peminat, I obliged but on a certain condition. I explained to the "organisers" of how I felt about this farewell thing and why I do not want it in the first place. I have to make them understand why I am leaving and I do not want to have to be in an awkward situation and I do not want them to face the consequences later. I know this company. I know the people in it. Just trust me on this.

It was going to be a surprise party to "raikan perpisahan" with Hajjah Maknjang. Again, I can't help but smile, I knew they did not meant it that way, but it still sounded funny. You have to agree with me. I was not trying to be cocky. Believe me, that was not what I was trying to do. If I came across that way, I truly apologise. I started suspecting that something is harbouring when people started asking whether I will be in the office on a certain date and time. Which I can't promise them that I will. Lucky for them, I came upfront and asked, because I was not in the office the day the surprise were to be held, otherwise they would the surprised ones!

The day was Thursday, 17 June 2010, the time 6:30pm and the place was D'Dusun Seafood, not far from the office. You understand why it is not held in the office, don't you?. I was expecting to just eat-eat and then bye-bye. I was preparing myself only for that. When I got there and saw the set-up, man!!! I should have prepared a speech and then words started playing in my brain and I was not concentrating on the whole do. It stated with the MC saying tributes to me complete with pantuns, I was truly amazed at the details they went through to throw me a great farewell.This is not something they decided to do on a spur of a moment thing. This is something well planned. The COO was called and said a few words about me and then handover farewell gifts to me, another surprise. What the COO said will be remembered for a long long time. I have never had anybody say anything nice to me, especially from the higher management. All these years, all I heard are just sarcasm, sadistic remarks and harsh words. When he said that there is one thing he truly admired about me and he should not have waited until the time I was leaving to say it.. my heart went boom, boom boom. I mean, how can this man, I mean if you know him, you would understand this, this guy who just keeps his cool, mind his own business all the time admire me, I mean even if it just for one thing. Seriously! This guy is so cool, water freezes around him, okay, that is how cool he is. I have never seen him lose his temper, ever and I have known him for more than 15 years. I, on the other hand, lost my tempers on an hourly basis. And yet he admire me for my "tenangness" comparing my tolerance level with his. He said he has never met anyone with a higher threshold of pain than him until he got to know me. He said he admires me for being so tenang in facing what came my way, may it be tremors, earthquakes or turbulences. hmmm... thank you THMA, you made my day, my year, even.

Doas were read and then tada! Hajjah Maknjang was called to say a few words. I do not know what I said but I am pretty sure its the thing I have always been saying to them all these years. Buat kerja dengan ikhlas and jangan gaduh-gaduh sesama sendiri. Do not envy others. Stay true to yourselves and make sure they earn a halal rezeki, this is my trademark speech, in every meetings and every gatherings. And just before makan, they surprised me with two birthday cakes. That is 14 days too early but, thank you! I think that would be the only birthday celebration I will be having this year, unless Mak plans some kenduri doa selamat for my homecoming.

Among the gifts was a card signed by the staffs and I got teary eyed when I read them. I never knew, despite my garangness, my mood swings, my tempers, my screamings, my cengeness; almost all the staffs thank me for the guidance and patience (?). Some even said that I inspire them, I wonder, in what way. Another staff told me that I am her idol. Aduss! Sedeh banget nih!

I am not sure how many people from the office read this blog but I would like to thank all of them for an evening I will treasure for the rest of my life. I apologise for not thanking them properly that night and truly, truly appreciate what they have done for me. As for the gifts, I shall wear them on Eid Mubarak, insyaAllah. They were so pretty. You should not have gone through so much trouble. Yang berusaha, Mass, SQ, Tina, Ikin and the rests, again, thank you very very much. I hope our ukhwah will last a lifetime and not end here.

p/s the Indonesian workers are yet to say goodbye to me. They have been asking Shila for a time to come and see me and I have been playing hide-and-seek so far. I cannot push this away, I know. I have to face them and I am pretty sure there will be major meltdowns! Tissues please......

Happy Days

Mak, Abah and the youngest brother are in town. They are here because we have not been home since early January! Its quite complicated really but anyhow, things are looking better. Happy days ahead.

I have not a slightest idea of what to write today so I will just go along with what comes to mind. I am listening to Barbara Streisand and Barry Gibb's What Kind of Fool. Its not a song one would remember unless they went to MRSM Kulim from 1979 to 1983 and has a teacher named Rosemary Lovely who taught them English. In the english lab, other than listening The War of the World narrated by Richard Burton, we would be listening to this song. Yes, 15 years old (which is so not the same as 15 years old nowadays) and was asked to elaborate the meaning to this lyrics :-

Barbara Streisand & Barry Gibb - What Kind of Fool
There was a time when we were down and out
There was a place when we were starting over
We let the vow break
we let the heartache in

Who's sorry now?
There was a world when we were standing still
And for a moment we were separated
And then you found her
you let the stranger in

Who's sorry now
who's sorry now?
What, what kind of fool tears it apart
Leaving me pain and sorrow

Losin' you now
Wondering why.
Where will I be tomorrow?

There was a time when we were down and out.
There was a place when we were starting over.
We let the vow break
we let the heartache in

Who's sorry now
who's sorry now?
What, what kind of fool tears it apart
Leaving me pain and sorrow

Losin' you now.
How can I win
Were will I be tomorrow?

Was there a moment
when I cut you down
Played around.
What have I done
I only apologize for being as they say
The last to know
It has to show when
someone is in your eyes.

What, what kind of fool tears it apart
Leaving me pain and sorrow

Losin' you now
Wondering why.
Where will I be tomorrow?

Back then, there was no internet so there is no way we could google for the lyrics, what we did was to play the song over and over and over again. Sampai chemuih!

Lately, at the office, Shila and I are into karau-ing as in karau-okay, but the not so okay version. I'd be the deejay and accepting requests. We would be singing to songs from Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert, Boyz II Men, Kool and the Gang, Michael Buble, Michael Jackson and many more.. any genre, old and new. If we don't know the lyrics, its either hentam sajalah or we would google them. Fun eh? Yesterday however was dedicated to Mami who has recently returned to work after a long MC. So hindi songs it was. Not the current hits though, we don't know any new hindi songs but we went back to the Yaadon Ki Bharat, Bobby, Aa Gale Lag Ja's era. Mami can sing them all!!!! I am currently googling for the John Jonny Jonathan tar ra ram taram taram's video and lyrics.. he he he.. Found it! Wanted to post it here, unfortunately EMBED IS DISABLED!

We are thinking that today is Mayumi Itsuwa's day... so I better get googling fast. The deejay has to be prepared. I still have not found the song we used in our Bushido Blade way back when, during the Drama fest; the Theta girls won Best Script for it! If only I can have a copy of the script.... who has it now?... it started with.. What's the uproar all about? Memories....

Ta for now... Mayumi Itsuwa!

Its Tuesday again, really?

A week has passed since I last put an entry.. hmmm...

Its raining outside and I am listening Feliciano's Listen to the Falling Rain, how appropriate!

The excitement over the Kiulu's weekend took a while to subside and I still felt some left over feelings. Killers are now planning to conquer Mount Kinabalu, a year from now. Plans are being chartered, visa applications are being filed (visa is not an issue for Maknjang, but a year from now, will I have the dough to do so?). Allah's willing, I will join this trip as well although conquering the Mountain is way, wayyy, wayyy.... beyond my ability. I told them, I may need to lose at least 30 kg to do so. Haih! I shall kid you not, climb the Mountain, I sure cannot! You have to be super fit! But if money and time permit, insyaAllah I will be there to see them off and receive them later, the climbers, I mean. I'll even head the cheerleading team! I like the idea to make this into a charity event as well and be part of the Journey to Legacy thing. I wish I can do lot more to help but unfortunately I am not good at things like this. But if my help is needed, I will be more than willing to lend a hand or two.

I still cannot believe that after more than 30 years, the bond between us are still strong. In fact I think it is stronger now than ever, more than even when we were in the same classroom. I supposed it is true, at our age we can no longer make new friends, so we hold on tight to the ones we have. I am so thankful that the killers boys and girls came to my life.

Okaylah, till next entry.. I bade you good night and enjoy the song... layan....

Happy Tuesday

Nothing but happy thoughts, that is what I told myself today. Happy happy happy and happy....

Its Tuesday and I feel obligated to write. There is so much to write actually but I have very little time.

I want to write about our trip to Kiulu, Sabah for the Official Launch of Asrama Donni. I had a very exciting weekend, started from the minute I picked Roha up from the Subang Skypark (I thought it is still called Terminal 3, sungguh ketinggalan zaman lah Maknjang ni) on Thursday evening and was sleep deprived from that night onwards. Caught a flight to KK on Friday morning, met Ita, the generous soul who sponsored my ticket to KK and a brisk encounter with Shitah who was on a different flight, at McD.

On the flight, we met with Didi, fellow killers. He was travelling with the ANGKA (Angkatan Karyawan Aktif), for the same purpose. ANGKA was the group of people the killers collaborate with for the Ghazal Party Queen, the theater performance to collect fund for the Kulim to Kiulu Project. Kak Cah Kunyit however, had to give a miss to this flight, she forgot to bring the birth certificate for her son Bubu. She had to return home, collect the certificate and caught the later flight. Kak Cah is Aisyah of the Aisyah and the Fan Club. (Uish! orang Maori pon ada nama Aisyah was Maknjang's first thought when I first saw her video clip way back when I was in ANU... ha ha ha). We had a short stop at Labuan and reached KK at 1 pm, slightly later than the original schedule. Shitah was already on the way to Marina Court with Azri, who thought that the 4 of us plus him as the driver will not fit into that small Viva... haih! tercabar! When we settled, just so-so at Marina Court, which was too big for just the 4 of us, more killerladies should have been there... went for lunch at a Thai Restaurant. Alhamdulillah, makan free, Azri belanja. Without delay, as soon as we finished lunch, we went to the Filipino Market, famous for its pearls and products from the Philipines. Maknjang only bought 2 crystal bracelets for the two princesses at BJ. The 3 of them bought more than they planned, I think. Jangan marah..

There was a misunderstanding on whose car I was renting, Alben or Albert... ding dong ding dong.. after calling here and there, Alben turned up to pick us up from the Filipino Market while Albert, whose car we were renting waited for us at Marina Court!

That night SCC threw us a Fellowship Dinner at Ocean, a few minute walk from Marina. We had a blast! The highlights were Aisyah who sang Janji Manis Mu (JMM, which she said could also be Janda Manis Mu or now that she is into manik, Jahit Manik Mu) and I Will Always Love You. Her 9 years old son's Tragedi Oktober was an out of this world experience, I tell you, penuh perasaan! SCC's choir and the food of course! After the dinner, I wanted to test drive the car and we need to go to another hotel to collect our T-shirt. Me and the car got on, on the wrong foot and some claimed that I gave them a terror ride.... ehem! ehem!

Started our journey to Kiulu early Saturday morning and got there at 8:30am. What a reception! What a grand event it was with the attendance of TYT and a few other dignitaries. Syahdu gila! As I have said before, I was very skeptical when Raja Ali first proposed this project to us on our 30th Anniversary reunion last year. Now, only after a little over 14 months, here is Asrama Donni, completed. After all the formalities were over, Killerbatch band took the stage and of course it rained after Nan sang. Surprise, surprise, the rain stopped the minute Aisyah opened her mouth to sing, coincident? I don't think so.... he he he... The whole singing thing lasted until about 2 pm and we left Kiulu, with a short detour to Nexus, Karambunai. We stopped at 1Borneo for makan and reached Marina at 5:45pm. That night, we drove to Tanjung Aru for jagung and looked for place to eat and ended up having dinner at Promenade Hotel.

Sunday... ikan bilis, udang kering and short stop at pasar Ikan Masin before sending Shitah, Ita and Azri to the airport. Back from the airport, a short stop at the Filipino Market, Roha needed a few more things while I waited in the car. Checked out, had lunch and waited for Amirah who got there at 2:30 pm, sent Roha to the airport, yak yak yak and then Amirah sent me to the airport. Slept all the way from KK to KL.

What a wonderful weekend, what a beautiful friendship. I love you killers, boys and girls.......

I am not feeling so good, rasa macam selsema since yesterday. Ya Allah, jadikanlah sakit ku ini sebagai kafarrah kepada segala dosa-dosaku. Amin.

Cukup lah takat ni for this Tuesday, nanti cerita-cerita lagi.