I do not know what to name the Post Title.
A few days ago, I received a friend add on FB. It was from a former classmate in MRSM. The last time I met her was in 1983, the tearful goodbyes at BM train station.
I accepted her friend request, chat with for a bit and then I told her I was going back home on Thursday and asked if she would mind if I were to make a slight detour and went to visit her at her house. She did not, so I did.
We were happy to see each other after more than 30 years. It was like we were never apart. Back in school I was mean towards her at times. She is the type that can easily be bullied. I am so sorry for what I did a long time ago. I hope she forgives me.
After SPM Nali completed her matrix courses but did not further her education. She chose to be a stay at home mom when she got married. She now has 5 kids, the eldest is 21 and the youngest is 7. She seems genuinely happy and it showed as she glowed with pride when she talked about her kids and her husband. Honestly, I have never met anyone my age to be so contended with her life. Meeting Nali the first time after more than 30 years was a humbling experience.I will definitely make more detours after this.
I was in tears driving back home. Thank you Allah for this reunion. I can't imagine me in Nali's shoes. I would have a lot to complaint! I cannot be as easily contended as Nali is.
I should learn to be more syukur and sabar.. syukur and sabar.... syukur and sabar.
Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.
Wallahu a'lam
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
My wish may come true (finally!)
InsyaaALlah
Remember when I was contemplating what to do post relinquishing my employment?. One of the thing is what is closest to my heart. Teaching excel and what you can do with it.
I do not have many skills, but I do have one that I value very much.My excel skill. I am by no means an expert but I noticed that amongst the people in the financial fraternity that I have come in contact with over the years, I am better than most. The only people that are above me or at par are those that specialised in preparing Financial Models for a living.
Once many years ago the company sent me to a 4 day workshop for FM with excel and lotus in Singapore and paid a dear sum for it. That was when I realised that I have something of value. The workshop was attended by 15 people (the maximum they would take) mainly from banking industry, advisory firms and a couple from a renowned firm that specialised in preparing FM for new projects, financing etc. I ended up being the assistant to the presenter, who was specifically flown in from South Africa for the workshop. I have to assist him to check the work of others and he checked with me now and again when introducing a new thing. You see, his knowledge is more academic while mine is more hands on and practical. And during that time I have already mastered both excel and lotus equally and I can use the keyboard for shortcuts with eyes closed and he was so impressed!
Enough self praising!!!
Anyhow, my motto is always knowledge sharing. No matter how trivia it may be, share and you will end up learning more.
I want to impart this little knowledge that I have, but so far only one person has taken that offer and I have taught him and his son how to do cashflow projections using excel. Alhamdulillah, he found it to be a very useful skill to have. While he planned for me to do this for a few of his entrepreneur friends, they do not seem to be interested.
And then out of the blue my partime boss suggested that I should conduct a class for the Finance staffs, mainly those who joined after I left and I jumped at the opportunity. Elation!!!
The dates have been set, it will be 29 April to 2 May. I actually sat in front of this PC to start doing the power point presentation but why oh why am I here instead?? I have all the things I want to teach in my head, but putting pen to paper, so to speak, takes a lot of will power. To steer away from FB, from games and blogging, does take a lot of will power! haih!
On 3 May, insyaaAllah 8 of us killerladies and 6 nonkillers will be flying off to Bandung for a 4 days shopping extravaganza, I am so excited. Hopefully this is the first of many trips we will be taking together, Allah willing.
Remember when I was contemplating what to do post relinquishing my employment?. One of the thing is what is closest to my heart. Teaching excel and what you can do with it.
I do not have many skills, but I do have one that I value very much.My excel skill. I am by no means an expert but I noticed that amongst the people in the financial fraternity that I have come in contact with over the years, I am better than most. The only people that are above me or at par are those that specialised in preparing Financial Models for a living.
Once many years ago the company sent me to a 4 day workshop for FM with excel and lotus in Singapore and paid a dear sum for it. That was when I realised that I have something of value. The workshop was attended by 15 people (the maximum they would take) mainly from banking industry, advisory firms and a couple from a renowned firm that specialised in preparing FM for new projects, financing etc. I ended up being the assistant to the presenter, who was specifically flown in from South Africa for the workshop. I have to assist him to check the work of others and he checked with me now and again when introducing a new thing. You see, his knowledge is more academic while mine is more hands on and practical. And during that time I have already mastered both excel and lotus equally and I can use the keyboard for shortcuts with eyes closed and he was so impressed!
Enough self praising!!!
Anyhow, my motto is always knowledge sharing. No matter how trivia it may be, share and you will end up learning more.
I want to impart this little knowledge that I have, but so far only one person has taken that offer and I have taught him and his son how to do cashflow projections using excel. Alhamdulillah, he found it to be a very useful skill to have. While he planned for me to do this for a few of his entrepreneur friends, they do not seem to be interested.
And then out of the blue my partime boss suggested that I should conduct a class for the Finance staffs, mainly those who joined after I left and I jumped at the opportunity. Elation!!!
The dates have been set, it will be 29 April to 2 May. I actually sat in front of this PC to start doing the power point presentation but why oh why am I here instead?? I have all the things I want to teach in my head, but putting pen to paper, so to speak, takes a lot of will power. To steer away from FB, from games and blogging, does take a lot of will power! haih!
On 3 May, insyaaAllah 8 of us killerladies and 6 nonkillers will be flying off to Bandung for a 4 days shopping extravaganza, I am so excited. Hopefully this is the first of many trips we will be taking together, Allah willing.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
So, how are you really?
A couple of days ago, I had an extra long lunch with a friend from way back when. The last time I met her was in Feb 2009 when she visited me in the hospital. Back when I had fibroids removed.
We seldom contacted each other, in fact I think from Feb 2009 to Jan 2013, we only made contact via sms at most 4 times!!
She had also left full time employment about a year ago. We shared a few things in common that way.
Then she asked me, so how are you really? To that, my answer was quite spontaneous. I said, I am very happy right now, Alhamdulillah. I could do better in the health department but otherwise, I am happy. I realised I no longer had to think of what to say when people ask me how am I, these days. The truth is at the moment I am the happiest as I have ever been. I cannot recollect being happier and more contented.
I realised I do not need much to feel this way. Long time ago, I thought you could only be happy and contented when you have all the things you wanted, dream job, huge income, big cars, big house, a husband and a couple or more children. You definitely have to have bank, that's what I thought. I cannot be more wrong. Look at me today, I live with my parents with meager income which I do not know whether it will stop coming the next month or the month after. I am driving the smallest and cheapest car ever! And yet I feel so free and so blessed... owh what a feeling! Thank you Allah!
The best part of it is that I now no longer yearn for things I cannot afford. I have very little needs and my wants are very few and very far in between and I am okay if I do not have them. Thank you Allah!.
May we all be in Allah's care forever and ever.
p/s, happy birthday to my bffs, Mazmin and Rohana. May our friendship never come apart.
We seldom contacted each other, in fact I think from Feb 2009 to Jan 2013, we only made contact via sms at most 4 times!!
She had also left full time employment about a year ago. We shared a few things in common that way.
Then she asked me, so how are you really? To that, my answer was quite spontaneous. I said, I am very happy right now, Alhamdulillah. I could do better in the health department but otherwise, I am happy. I realised I no longer had to think of what to say when people ask me how am I, these days. The truth is at the moment I am the happiest as I have ever been. I cannot recollect being happier and more contented.
I realised I do not need much to feel this way. Long time ago, I thought you could only be happy and contented when you have all the things you wanted, dream job, huge income, big cars, big house, a husband and a couple or more children. You definitely have to have bank, that's what I thought. I cannot be more wrong. Look at me today, I live with my parents with meager income which I do not know whether it will stop coming the next month or the month after. I am driving the smallest and cheapest car ever! And yet I feel so free and so blessed... owh what a feeling! Thank you Allah!
The best part of it is that I now no longer yearn for things I cannot afford. I have very little needs and my wants are very few and very far in between and I am okay if I do not have them. Thank you Allah!.
May we all be in Allah's care forever and ever.
p/s, happy birthday to my bffs, Mazmin and Rohana. May our friendship never come apart.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Ahlan wa sahlan 2013
Sudah tidak pernah berazam apa-apa lagi sejak kebelakangan ini apabila menutup tirai lama dan membuka tirai tahun yang baru.
Tapi entah kenapa, bila membuka mata pada pagi ini, tertanya pada diri, bagaimana 2013 bakal disusuri.
Maka berazam jugalah agar ditahun ini, mulai hari ini, walau apa pun yang ku lakukan.... biarlah ianya menjadi bekalan. Bekalan untuk kubawa kehadapan, ke kehidupan yang kekal. Semoga Allah swt permudahkan.
Selamat Tahun Baru saudara mara sekalian, kawan-kawan, rakan taulan, para kenalan dan jiran-jiran.
Jom kita kejar taqwa.
Tapi entah kenapa, bila membuka mata pada pagi ini, tertanya pada diri, bagaimana 2013 bakal disusuri.
Maka berazam jugalah agar ditahun ini, mulai hari ini, walau apa pun yang ku lakukan.... biarlah ianya menjadi bekalan. Bekalan untuk kubawa kehadapan, ke kehidupan yang kekal. Semoga Allah swt permudahkan.
Selamat Tahun Baru saudara mara sekalian, kawan-kawan, rakan taulan, para kenalan dan jiran-jiran.
Jom kita kejar taqwa.
Monday, July 2, 2012
46
That's the number of years I have lived on this planet. I believed that number is greater than the number of years I have left to live. I don't think I will live to see my 92nd birthday but Allah knows best.
As usual there is no celebration whatsoever but this year my birthday is kinda different. For one, the nephews in BJ remember my birthday and sang happy birthday to you at about 30 minutes past midnight, which no one has ever done for me before and I am so touched by it. The other, which to me is of great significance is that my nephew KH, gave me RM50 as a birthday gift (I guess he did not know what to buy so giving me money is the shortcut). Its not the money that moved me, but its what he said when he gave me the money. Maknjang, ni present dari Abang Ayis to show my appreciation of you..... sebak, I tell you! Thank you very much my dear nephew for making my day, maybe even my year!
His brother also gave me money.... "Maknjang nah 50sen, I am broke you know, not like adik, adik tu kaya." Haih! he has to learn to manage his allowance better. His excuse for his failure to control his expenses is simple. "Allowance sikit sangat, macamana nak manage". Double haih!
Mak and Abah called to wish me happy birthday but Anna refused to talk to me when Mak passed the phone to her, all she can think of to say is "majang lagak!" he he he which means Maknjang berlagak. She wishes that I am back home, so whenever I am not, Maknjang ni berlagak la, sebab I did not take her along. Favourite sayings from Anna these days are "lagak!" "lekut!" for kedekut and "ana tamau kawan" and of course "ana nak ikut" despite earlier calling you names.. Anna is my 2 and half years old niece, by the way. She is my constant (most of the time, my only) companion whenever I am back home.
Earlier in the morning I received another call. Dia tanya whether I am in KL or in Kedah and said that dia kat Langkawi. The best part of the conversation is that, instead of wishing me a happy birthday, dia reminded me that today is the 1st of July and therefore it is my birthday and went on to describe a person who are born with number 1, i.e. 1st or the 10th. I am supposed to be stubborn. Which I think I am not.... :)) . Every year its the same. Called me and told me its my birthday and never once wish me anything... funny or what? Maybe next year will be different, we shall wait and see.... maybe not! Tak kisahlah!
Officially my birthday is over. I am done thanking everybody who sent me smses and all the birthday wishes on facebook. I do hope and pray that as I grow older, my iman and taqwa will also increase. I pray that Allah blesses me with umur yang panjang didalam kebajikan dan iman, and when my time to leave this world comes, I will die in husnul khatimah.
To all my BFFs, you know who you are, thank you for the lunches, the gift, the tea and coffee etc etc. May our friendship stay strong forever and ever.
Happy 46th birthday Maknjang.
As usual there is no celebration whatsoever but this year my birthday is kinda different. For one, the nephews in BJ remember my birthday and sang happy birthday to you at about 30 minutes past midnight, which no one has ever done for me before and I am so touched by it. The other, which to me is of great significance is that my nephew KH, gave me RM50 as a birthday gift (I guess he did not know what to buy so giving me money is the shortcut). Its not the money that moved me, but its what he said when he gave me the money. Maknjang, ni present dari Abang Ayis to show my appreciation of you..... sebak, I tell you! Thank you very much my dear nephew for making my day, maybe even my year!
His brother also gave me money.... "Maknjang nah 50sen, I am broke you know, not like adik, adik tu kaya." Haih! he has to learn to manage his allowance better. His excuse for his failure to control his expenses is simple. "Allowance sikit sangat, macamana nak manage". Double haih!
Mak and Abah called to wish me happy birthday but Anna refused to talk to me when Mak passed the phone to her, all she can think of to say is "majang lagak!" he he he which means Maknjang berlagak. She wishes that I am back home, so whenever I am not, Maknjang ni berlagak la, sebab I did not take her along. Favourite sayings from Anna these days are "lagak!" "lekut!" for kedekut and "ana tamau kawan" and of course "ana nak ikut" despite earlier calling you names.. Anna is my 2 and half years old niece, by the way. She is my constant (most of the time, my only) companion whenever I am back home.
Earlier in the morning I received another call. Dia tanya whether I am in KL or in Kedah and said that dia kat Langkawi. The best part of the conversation is that, instead of wishing me a happy birthday, dia reminded me that today is the 1st of July and therefore it is my birthday and went on to describe a person who are born with number 1, i.e. 1st or the 10th. I am supposed to be stubborn. Which I think I am not.... :)) . Every year its the same. Called me and told me its my birthday and never once wish me anything... funny or what? Maybe next year will be different, we shall wait and see.... maybe not! Tak kisahlah!
Officially my birthday is over. I am done thanking everybody who sent me smses and all the birthday wishes on facebook. I do hope and pray that as I grow older, my iman and taqwa will also increase. I pray that Allah blesses me with umur yang panjang didalam kebajikan dan iman, and when my time to leave this world comes, I will die in husnul khatimah.
To all my BFFs, you know who you are, thank you for the lunches, the gift, the tea and coffee etc etc. May our friendship stay strong forever and ever.
Happy 46th birthday Maknjang.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Kembali Ber-rima
Didalam blog Maknjang yang lama
Maknjang pernahlah berkata
Bila Maknjang hendak bercerita
Maknjang nak menulis dalam rima
Tadi Maknjang dan juga kawan-kawan
Melepak sambil makan-makan
Minum teh dan kopi di dalam cawan
Dua potong kek turut dipesan
Sambil makan sambil bercerita
Kami teruja mendengar berita
Bahawasanya Puan OCPD Melaka
Telah dianugerahkan cahayamata
Sekalung tahniah kami ucapkan
Diatas kehadiran bayi perempuan
Semoga menjadi anak yang beriman
Membesar menjadi suri teladan
Sedang kami riuh berbicara
Datang pula seorang penjaja
Jalannya bertongkat, susah berbicara
Menjual kerepek didalam raga
Simpati kami melihat penjaja
Usianya sudah lewat senja
Lemah pula segala anggota
Semoga Allah permudahkan hidup dia
Dua bungkus kerepek Roha beli
Sebab nak menolak pun tak sampai hati
Kerepek pisang dan kerepek keladi
Menjadi rezeki orang taman tabung haji
Penjaja masuk sekali lagi
Terhencut-hencut mencari pembeli
Roha memang seorang yang baik hati
Habis semua kerepek dia beli
Setakat ini dulu untuk kali ini
Kalau Maknjang rajin, esok berantri lagi
Maknjang nak siapkan kerja sebelum dinihari
Kerja yang dah bertangguh berhari-hari.
Owh ya, esok Maknjang nak ke kota
Tak sabar Maknjang nak jumpa Cik Remia!!!!
Maknjang pernahlah berkata
Bila Maknjang hendak bercerita
Maknjang nak menulis dalam rima
Tadi Maknjang dan juga kawan-kawan
Melepak sambil makan-makan
Minum teh dan kopi di dalam cawan
Dua potong kek turut dipesan
Sambil makan sambil bercerita
Kami teruja mendengar berita
Bahawasanya Puan OCPD Melaka
Telah dianugerahkan cahayamata
Sekalung tahniah kami ucapkan
Diatas kehadiran bayi perempuan
Semoga menjadi anak yang beriman
Membesar menjadi suri teladan
Sedang kami riuh berbicara
Datang pula seorang penjaja
Jalannya bertongkat, susah berbicara
Menjual kerepek didalam raga
Simpati kami melihat penjaja
Usianya sudah lewat senja
Lemah pula segala anggota
Semoga Allah permudahkan hidup dia
Dua bungkus kerepek Roha beli
Sebab nak menolak pun tak sampai hati
Kerepek pisang dan kerepek keladi
Menjadi rezeki orang taman tabung haji
Penjaja masuk sekali lagi
Terhencut-hencut mencari pembeli
Roha memang seorang yang baik hati
Habis semua kerepek dia beli
Setakat ini dulu untuk kali ini
Kalau Maknjang rajin, esok berantri lagi
Maknjang nak siapkan kerja sebelum dinihari
Kerja yang dah bertangguh berhari-hari.
Owh ya, esok Maknjang nak ke kota
Tak sabar Maknjang nak jumpa Cik Remia!!!!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Soul bearing
and I am blaming the entire content of what I am about to write on my BFF Mazmin. So there! And I am writing because I am bored too! Outside mak tengah mengajaq mengaji and breakfast will follow, so I am stuck in this room for a while. I am done playing bejeweled blitz, I am seeing stars already!. I can't play literati because yahoo is acting up. I know I should be finishing some income earning working paper, but I am not in the mood for that. So I am going to revive this sawang gathering blog with another post.
Why am I blaming Min for this post? Because Min made me think of what I never plan to think about. An issue I have resolved a long time ago and never imagine I would give it another thought.
My mind right now is quite kelam kabut, and I am somewhat dukacita and feeling kinda vulnerable. Cheewah! Boleh ka, vulnerable like that. What with TP (you know who he is if you have read my other blog) turning out to be the way he is right now (I do not talk to him anymore and I can't even bear the mention of his name aaahhhh, I could write a book just on this topic alone.. but let's not go there), and youngest brother getting married and parents suddenly aging rapidly, (I am not imagining this, they are and so are we, I guess); timbul kebimbangan of what the future holds. Macamana kalau mak and abah dah tak dak? (Yes, its always a kalau, walhal, ajal adalah kepastian.Yang tak pastinya adalah, who will go first). What would become of me. Bila tua, kalau sakit... macam-macam. You know the drift. I know that these are bisikan-bisikan syaitan, kenapa pula kita perlu risaukan benda yang kita tak tau kesudahannya, yang penting kita hanya perlu terus berdoa agar Allah sentiasa menjaga kita dan tidak menduga kita dengan ujian yang kita tidak mampu untuk memikulnya. Kita perlu berbaik sangka dengan Allah swt. Bila teringat balik macam ni, lega sat. Lepas solat, doa panjang sikit. Then syaitan bisik lagi, mula terasa semak perut semula.
To be honest, when Epit started the joke in whatsapp, I felt a little "tersinggung". Originally I typed "terhina" but maybe that is too strong a word to use. I still feel that way, although I know that she did not mean to "hina" (I need to find another word for this, oh my bahasa!) or anything close to that. She is just Epit, being Epit... a little girl at 45 pretending to be an adult and we will remain friends no matter what. Why do I feel that way, you may ask. Unless you are a 46 year old, single, short fat and ugly perempuan like me, you will never understand, even if you try. Seriously. Therefore when the joke continued, I just went along with it, trying not to make any comment, fearing that it might be misconstrued to mean something else. Before I proceed any further, I would like to make it clear that, I am not angry at Epit. Sikit pon dak. Her concern over her mother's anxieties is genuine, we would be the same if we were in her shoes. She has her mother's best interest in her heart. SubhanaAllah.
How could Epit ask me to consider her so called "proposal", even if was a mere joke amongst friends when all the individuals involved were not in the picture. Like Ja said, it should have been initiated by the person involved, not by nosy sisters. This is where I felt tersinggung... Picture this, nosy sister ask single, short fat and ugly.. and unemployed friend if she would consider being her sister in law... because "kesian mak aku, dia sunyi". If the friend is agreeable, "aku nak suruh mak aku tanya abang aku". Hello? What is wrong with this picture?
How could Epit ask me to consider her so called "proposal", even if was a mere joke amongst friends when all the individuals involved were not in the picture. Like Ja said, it should have been initiated by the person involved, not by nosy sisters. This is where I felt tersinggung... Picture this, nosy sister ask single, short fat and ugly.. and unemployed friend if she would consider being her sister in law... because "kesian mak aku, dia sunyi". If the friend is agreeable, "aku nak suruh mak aku tanya abang aku". Hello? What is wrong with this picture?
Just imagine, if I were so pendek akal and be so agreeable or maybe even jumped at the opportunity; (to be - how shall I put this mildly, how did she sell her brother to me...a "datin" , nak satu row shophouses pon boleh .. etc). and the brother sikit pon tak hingin .. its quite hard to get passed the short fat and ugly part tu tau ........, where does that put me??? Malukan, macam tergedik-gedik like that kan. Epit, Epit... sedih aku tau. You make me feel so macam apalah when you started that joke. Janganlah buat macam ni lagi kat sesiapa pon, especially orang-orang yang in the same boat as me. It makes us look .. tak tau lah nak cakap macam mana. Macam tak kisahlah any tom, dick or harry (not that I am saying that your brother is just any tom dick or harry, I know he is a somebody, I am just saying), tak kisahlah kalau sekadar untuk dijadikan teman buat mak, kan as long as dapat kawin, afterall dahla tua, macam tong dram la pulak, sapa lagi yang mau kan...
Kalaulah, and I meant it as kalau saja okay, don't get any ideas pulak, your brother has already informed your mom that he wants her to look for a wife for him, tak kisahlah as long as mak dia suka... cerita kita mungkin berbeda. Pengakhirannya mungkin sama, tapi jalan ceritanya akan berlainan dan saya tidak akan rasa tersinggung.
Actually kan Epit, if your mother is really lonely, why don't you just ask us, yang duduk di sini, to once in a while drop by your house and keep your mom company, I wouldn't mind doing that at all. Memang itulah pon antara activiti bersama my mom pon, ziarah menziarahi.
Tutup cerita itu, kita move on to why Min makes me think. Marriage has been the furthest thing on my mind. I have pushed away any thought of ever getting married when I turned 35 or so. I am at peace with myself while resigning to the fact that Allah has preordained that I will lead a single life in this life. Mungkin in another life ada bidadara menanti? BUT I also know that there are three things we cannot control, Ajal, Rezeki and Jodoh. Bukan kerja kita untuk memikirkan ketiga-tiga hal ni, ini hak Allah. Therefore, marriage... not something I plan to think about.
Tak tau why, lately asyik duk bear my soul, first to Ja, then to Min. Maybe sebab youngest brother is getting married. No, I am not sad that he is getting married, I am sad because things does not go according to MY plan. How I foresee the future is that, when mak and abah are no longer with us (owh no!!!!! I typed it!!!!!)... youngest brother and family will continue to live in 410 and so will I, as this is my house. I even planned to hibah this house to youngest brother. Now, youngest brother is marrying someone from another state, far far away from here and it looks like he is interested to move to the future wife's state. I will not stop him if that is what he wants to do. Its his life. Perasaan saya sedikit dukacita tetapi ini adalah ketentuan Yang Maha Esa. Kebelakangan ni pulak, bila saya tengok Abah dan Mak, dah nampak aging sangat. Sayu hati bila tengok mak solat sunat sambil duduk. Syahdu bila tengok wajah abah, bila abah tidur. Terasa akan kehilangan mereka suatu hari nanti, dan saya berdoa agar hari-hari tersebut tiba lambat lagi. Kadang-kadang rasa ingin berdoa agar saya yang pergi dahulu kerana saya tidak sanggup untuk hidup tanpa mereka dan sebatang kara. Saya tahu tidak baik untuk berdoa sedemikian. Bukankan ajal dan maut itu ketentuan Allah swt. Satu lagi is the titi gantung I built more than 17 years ago.. I so badly want to burnt it to the ground but I can't. I still need the "alimony" to sustain my life as I do not have any other source of income. I want to be free of any entanglement with the titi gantung, selagi duk dapat monthly payment, selagi tu I am not free.. and I hate it. Semua perkara-perkara ni duk berserabut dalam kepala otak, ditambah pulak dengan surat layang, poison email, ugutan dan investigation from you know what. Lagi bertambah bingung. Maybe that was the reason why saya sensitif sangat kot dengan lawak Epit tu.
So, Min kata, maybe marriage is the answer (it maybe not)... it might rungkaikan segala kerisauan (it might also add more keresahan). So what if, tetiba ada lah pulak genuine proposal. What if??. .... Will I?.. Ya Allah, duk pikiaq buat apa tak tau... org sungai baru kata lets just cross the bridge if we get there. Ini belum jumpa mana-mana bridge, dah sebuk nak cross... ni semua, Min lah punya pasai.
Resah,
Maknjang.
p/s Min, orang sungai baru kata... ukur baju di badan sendiri, jangan duk tempah baju lagi.
Monday, May 7, 2012
This is not how I foresee it.....
In less than 2 months, I will be 46.
In less than 20 days, my youngest brother will be getting
married.
As I have been away from home for nearly a month, I can only presumed
that preparation for the wedding is buzzing at home. Yes, I was away that long.
I asked myself whether I actually have to be away or pretended that I have
things to do here just because I wanted to be as far away as possible, as long
as possible. But, I am going home today. In fact I am typing this at Skypark
Terminal, Subang. I shall be fire-flying home shortly.
Home will definitely not be the same after this.
I am supposed to be happy. I will be getting a brand new
sister-in-law for crying out loud. But I am not. I am not a happy person right now. And that
is why I was away. The guilty feeling I felt deep in my stomach is the only
reason I forced myself to take this trip home. Kesian mak duk kelola
sorang-sorang. Mak is the only reason I am going home. I can’t go on pretending that I am
needed here anymore.
It is difficult to explain my unhappiness. Only a person in
the same situation would understand. Haih! I dread the days ahead. I dread the
years ahead. O Allah, please forgive me. O Allah, please ease my discomfort. Amiin.
Sadly,
Maknjang.
Monday, March 21, 2011
A plan, a plan, we've come up with a plan!
A couple of weeks ago, the husband of a close friend, died. I have been feeling sayu ever since. He was 46. His death reminded me of my eldest brother who, 8 months ago brother passed away at 48. Both deaths were sudden. Inna lillahi wa inna ilai hi roji'un, Surely we belong to Allah and to HIM we shall return. May they rest with the solihins.
The lady of leisure R, took the jobless Maknjang to visit the recently widowed, the entrepreneurial Ij, yesterday. We visit with Ij for about 4 hours at her place in LMSP. Alhamdulillah Ij is coping well. Her 2 daughters were in school so we did not have a chance to meet them.
For the last 6 months or so, whenever the three of us met, we have been saying that we should start doing something beneficial with our time. We think that we should embark into a business together. We always joked that we want a business that requires the minimal of capital, the least of work and generates the most income. All our discussions always ended on that note. The only thing we ever resolved is that we need to do something but we never seriously discuss about how to do it. No plan.
Yesterday we recognised that Maknjang (not a discovery really, its been a fact for a while) needs to find ways to make money when her term ends this August, Ij needs to do some serious income generating project if not for the moolahs as she already has other "hobby" businesses which are giving her constant cashflow and her husband left her quite comfortable, IMHO but I think more so to fill her time. R the lady of leisure may not want to do this for the money but I think when your kids are all grown up, she too has a void that needs to be filled.
So there we were at Ij's dining table munching over popiahs, fried chicken and cut fruits talking about this and that and suddenly we reached that topic again. This time we decided that there shall be no more empty talks. Let's just put it this way. We have come up with a plan, a concept at least of what all three of us can do, Yay! We need to talk more and iron out the details. I feel good about this plan. It synergise with all my other angan-angan.
Let us dua that this will work and Allah swt will make it easy for us to achieve our target. InsyaAllah. I remember this saying I put up on the ASS's board. Never regret, if its good, its wonderful, if its bad its experience. We will never know until we try it.
I still owe A R L that cashflow that I am supposed to be checking but writing this post instead. Haih!
The lady of leisure R, took the jobless Maknjang to visit the recently widowed, the entrepreneurial Ij, yesterday. We visit with Ij for about 4 hours at her place in LMSP. Alhamdulillah Ij is coping well. Her 2 daughters were in school so we did not have a chance to meet them.
For the last 6 months or so, whenever the three of us met, we have been saying that we should start doing something beneficial with our time. We think that we should embark into a business together. We always joked that we want a business that requires the minimal of capital, the least of work and generates the most income. All our discussions always ended on that note. The only thing we ever resolved is that we need to do something but we never seriously discuss about how to do it. No plan.
Yesterday we recognised that Maknjang (not a discovery really, its been a fact for a while) needs to find ways to make money when her term ends this August, Ij needs to do some serious income generating project if not for the moolahs as she already has other "hobby" businesses which are giving her constant cashflow and her husband left her quite comfortable, IMHO but I think more so to fill her time. R the lady of leisure may not want to do this for the money but I think when your kids are all grown up, she too has a void that needs to be filled.
So there we were at Ij's dining table munching over popiahs, fried chicken and cut fruits talking about this and that and suddenly we reached that topic again. This time we decided that there shall be no more empty talks. Let's just put it this way. We have come up with a plan, a concept at least of what all three of us can do, Yay! We need to talk more and iron out the details. I feel good about this plan. It synergise with all my other angan-angan.
Let us dua that this will work and Allah swt will make it easy for us to achieve our target. InsyaAllah. I remember this saying I put up on the ASS's board. Never regret, if its good, its wonderful, if its bad its experience. We will never know until we try it.
I still owe A R L that cashflow that I am supposed to be checking but writing this post instead. Haih!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Hipocrisy vs Untrustworthiness
hy·poc·ri·sy (noun)
- a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess.
- a pretense of having some desirable or publicly approved attitude.
- an act or instance of hypocrisy.
| untrustworthiness (noun) | |
| the trait of not deserving trust or confidence [ant: trustiness] Well, hello 2011. Here's hoping that this will be a much better year than the previous ones. I just found out about certain things being said behind my back which are untrue and vicious that it has dampened my spirit. I did not hear it from a third person, I got it right from it source thus they were the solid truth of what they thought about me. Well, I am not one that is usually bothered much with other people's opinion on me as they are just that, opinions. I know who I am. Why am I bothered so this time? Whatever I did all these while FOR them were sincere, pure. I thought I was helping since no one else can do what I can, at the moment, and I do not have much to do right now. I have NO other agenda. My intentions were good and I was helping Mami coping. Why questions my motives? Were you not the one who asked for my help?. She approached me not me, her and I was not just teaching her alone. And why would I want to use her to get close to your family. Using her? Using her? Ya Allah, manusia jenis apa do you think I am who would use the Holy AlQuran as a tool to get close to your family? Apa best sangat ka family hampa tu? Owh please! Because you have money and I don't? I did not know I was so hard-up for your money? Now kan dah hilang pahala ajar mengaji???? haih! Why not just block my access, what is stopping you?. I seldom read anyway and when I do, I only look at the topics that will help me, help you do the forecast. Stop my access, I don't care, but please don't call me untrustworthy and accuse me of giving my access to other people. Best sangat ka forum hampa tu sampai ex-staff semua teringin nak baca. They were not reading the forum, I had to force them when they were in your employ, why would they want to read now as if they do not have better things to do? People have move on to bigger and better things. Leave them be. Move on. BTW you have ways to check my access, its frequency and what I read. Check before you make you speculations and accusations, boleh??!!! Now, who is the insincere one? You keep on telling me, if I do work and when I travel, I can claim. And all my claims and my allowances were approved by you. Why not just say that you disagreed or disapproved them in front of me? Why questions them now behind my back? My conscience is clear. Why is yours not? Your holier than thou, I am better than you attitude are just that, an attitude, is it not?. A Hypocrite? When 2010 were ending and 2011 were looming, I said to myself, no resolution is necessary, just try to be a better person. Now 18 days into the new decade, I promised myself that I will not just try to be a better person. I MUST be a better person, a better hamba Allah, a better daughter, a better sister, a better maknjang, a better friend and be A LOT better person than those lot. I will not try to prove anything to anybody, I will just be me. I will not be bothered by them anymore. I know what they think of me. I know what I know, I know my intentions, Allah swt knows and lets leave it at that. And in the end Truth will prevail. Happy New Year everybody. |
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Banjir 1 Nov - 5 Nov 2010; pengalaman yang menginsafkan
Hujan mula turun pada petang Sabtu 30 October dan berlarutan sehingga pagi Isnin 1 November. Air sungai naik sedikit demi sedikit sehingga hampir ke gigi jalan pada petang Ahad 31 Oktober tetapi kami masih mengharap apabila hujan berhenti, air akan surut ke sungai semula. Khabar kononnya Sang Raja akan murka jika banjir kembali melanda kawasan istana menyebabkan hati merasa lega. Tak mungkin banjir akan melanda. 2005 adalah yang terakhir kalinya. Ternyata khabar murka Sang Raja hanyalah angin semata. Kuasa Allah swt tiada siapa dapat melawannya. Hendak murka pada siapa, siapa patut murka pada siapa? Kita atau Yang Maha Pencipta? Siapa yang Maha Berkuasa? Allah swt atau Sang Raja?
Tatkala dunia dikejutkan dengan pelbagai bencana, di Indonesia, Merapi mengamuk meluahkan lava, asap dan debu memenuhi udara ditambah pula tsunami melanda, gempa bumi menggegarkan suasana, puting beliung disini sana, kami hanya diancam banjir semata.
Air mula surut pada petang Jumaat 5 November dan surut sepenuhnya pada petang Sabtu 6 November. Abah, Mak, Azwan, Mat dan jiran tetangga mula membersihkan selut yang mencecah buku lali di dalam rumah. Maknjang tidak turut serta pada hari Sabtu untuk menjaga keluarga yang kurang upaya yang tinggal bersama di rumah sementara kami. Dan kalau Maknjang ikut sekali pun, rasanya bukan dapat nak tolong apa-apa sebab geli geleman dan pelbagai lagi perasaan.
Alhamdulillah sepanjang menantikan air surut, kami tinggal dalam keadaan yang amat selesa di Homestay Vistana milik adik ipar Maknjang di Jalan Langgar. Ketika mangsa-mangsa lain terpaksa tinggal disekolah-sekolah dan khemah-khemah yang serba kekurangan dan bekalan air paip yang ketandusan, kami tinggal selesa dirumah yang besar bertilam dan berbantal. Bekalan letrik dan air paip berterusan. Kami mungkin menumpang rahmat Abang Non yang cacat dan tak berupaya, kemana-mana pun perlukan perkhidmatan ambulan. Walaupun setiap hari asyik memikirkan rumah yang tenggelam, apabila melihat berita bencana yang lebih dasyat, hati menjadi tenteram. Sedikit amat dugaan kami ini Ya Tuhan berbanding dosa-dosa kami pada Mu.
Azwan akan balik ke Taman membuat tinjauan setiap hari sepanjang rumah ditenggelami air. Selama empat hari, kami mendengar berita yang sama, dari jauh, rumah hanya nampak bumbung sahaja. Berdebar-debar dada Maknjang memikirkan barang-barang yang ditinggalkan didalam bilik. Laptop, printer, dokumen-dokumen penting semuanya telah diangkat lebih 2 kaki dari paras air pada tahun 2005. Kerana kita sangka, tidak mungkin air akan mencecah lebih tinggi dari biasa. Kuasa Allah swt air naik luarbiasa. Semua perabot dan alat letrik telah diangkat ke dapur yang parasnya 4 kaki lebih tinggi dari tanah. Kami sangka itu sudah cukup untuk selamatkan semuanya. Allah swt duga kami dengan air semata, kami sudah merasa cukup gundah gulana. Apalah nasib perabot dan peralatan letrik disana. Baju-baju kami semua bagaimana. 5 hari berlalu barulah air berundur kesungai semula.
Hari Ahad, Maknjang ikut pulang ke Taman, hancur luluh hati rasanya melihatkan suasana. 2 batang pokok besar tumbang di jalan menuju ke rumah kami menghalang kami menggunakan jalan yang biasa. Bau busuk menusuk sukma. Sampah sarap merata-rata. Selut tebal menyeliputi segala benda. Semua perkakas didalam dapur berantakan, terbalik lintang pukang semuanya. Baunya... tak boleh Maknjang nak cerita. Air paip ketandusan pula, kerja mencuci menjadi tergendala. Yang mampu dibuat hanyalah mengutip barang-barang berharga dan apa saja yang rasanya seperti masih berguna.
Hari ni sudah 8 hari kerja pemulihan bermula, tapi masih banyak yang belum habis dicuci semula. Petiais dan barang-barang elektrik lain masih belum tahu samada masih berguna. Maknjang sekarang di KL kerana tugas, tapi hati berada disana. Kasihan Mak, Abah dan Azwan yang hari-hari berkerja keras mencuci segala. Alhamdulillah ramai yang datang menyumbang tenaga. Setiap hari disediakan makanan percuma oleh ahli tentera, walaupun ala kadar, tetapi bagi yang sudah kehilangan segala, ala kadar pun amat bermakna.
Memang penat dan sakit seluruh anggota,
menggosok selut dilantai yang mencecah buku lali.
Syukur Ya Allah, kami masih ada rumah untuk dihuni.
mencuci kain baju yang basah kesemuanya.
Syukur Ya Allah, kami masih ada kain baju untuk dipakai semula.
memberus pinggan mangkuk periuk belanga.
Syukur Ya Allah, pinggan mangkuk periuk belanga kami masih ada.
mengangkat membuang perabut yang sudah tak boleh diguna
Syukur Ya Allah, semakin bertambah ruang didalam rumah, kami akan lebih selesa.
Syukur Ya Allah kerana yang rosak dan yang musnah hanyalah harta dunia semata-mata.
Syukur Ya Allah, kami sekeluarga selamat tanpa sebarang cacat cela.
Syukur ku padaMu Ya Allah, kerana memberikan kami ketabahan, kesabaran dan keupayaan menghadapi dugaanMu ini. Semoga segala kesusahan yang kami lalui ini menjadi kafarrah kepada dosa-dosa kami padaMu Ya Allah.
Tatkala dunia dikejutkan dengan pelbagai bencana, di Indonesia, Merapi mengamuk meluahkan lava, asap dan debu memenuhi udara ditambah pula tsunami melanda, gempa bumi menggegarkan suasana, puting beliung disini sana, kami hanya diancam banjir semata.
Air mula surut pada petang Jumaat 5 November dan surut sepenuhnya pada petang Sabtu 6 November. Abah, Mak, Azwan, Mat dan jiran tetangga mula membersihkan selut yang mencecah buku lali di dalam rumah. Maknjang tidak turut serta pada hari Sabtu untuk menjaga keluarga yang kurang upaya yang tinggal bersama di rumah sementara kami. Dan kalau Maknjang ikut sekali pun, rasanya bukan dapat nak tolong apa-apa sebab geli geleman dan pelbagai lagi perasaan.
Alhamdulillah sepanjang menantikan air surut, kami tinggal dalam keadaan yang amat selesa di Homestay Vistana milik adik ipar Maknjang di Jalan Langgar. Ketika mangsa-mangsa lain terpaksa tinggal disekolah-sekolah dan khemah-khemah yang serba kekurangan dan bekalan air paip yang ketandusan, kami tinggal selesa dirumah yang besar bertilam dan berbantal. Bekalan letrik dan air paip berterusan. Kami mungkin menumpang rahmat Abang Non yang cacat dan tak berupaya, kemana-mana pun perlukan perkhidmatan ambulan. Walaupun setiap hari asyik memikirkan rumah yang tenggelam, apabila melihat berita bencana yang lebih dasyat, hati menjadi tenteram. Sedikit amat dugaan kami ini Ya Tuhan berbanding dosa-dosa kami pada Mu.
Azwan akan balik ke Taman membuat tinjauan setiap hari sepanjang rumah ditenggelami air. Selama empat hari, kami mendengar berita yang sama, dari jauh, rumah hanya nampak bumbung sahaja. Berdebar-debar dada Maknjang memikirkan barang-barang yang ditinggalkan didalam bilik. Laptop, printer, dokumen-dokumen penting semuanya telah diangkat lebih 2 kaki dari paras air pada tahun 2005. Kerana kita sangka, tidak mungkin air akan mencecah lebih tinggi dari biasa. Kuasa Allah swt air naik luarbiasa. Semua perabot dan alat letrik telah diangkat ke dapur yang parasnya 4 kaki lebih tinggi dari tanah. Kami sangka itu sudah cukup untuk selamatkan semuanya. Allah swt duga kami dengan air semata, kami sudah merasa cukup gundah gulana. Apalah nasib perabot dan peralatan letrik disana. Baju-baju kami semua bagaimana. 5 hari berlalu barulah air berundur kesungai semula.
Hari Ahad, Maknjang ikut pulang ke Taman, hancur luluh hati rasanya melihatkan suasana. 2 batang pokok besar tumbang di jalan menuju ke rumah kami menghalang kami menggunakan jalan yang biasa. Bau busuk menusuk sukma. Sampah sarap merata-rata. Selut tebal menyeliputi segala benda. Semua perkakas didalam dapur berantakan, terbalik lintang pukang semuanya. Baunya... tak boleh Maknjang nak cerita. Air paip ketandusan pula, kerja mencuci menjadi tergendala. Yang mampu dibuat hanyalah mengutip barang-barang berharga dan apa saja yang rasanya seperti masih berguna.
Hari ni sudah 8 hari kerja pemulihan bermula, tapi masih banyak yang belum habis dicuci semula. Petiais dan barang-barang elektrik lain masih belum tahu samada masih berguna. Maknjang sekarang di KL kerana tugas, tapi hati berada disana. Kasihan Mak, Abah dan Azwan yang hari-hari berkerja keras mencuci segala. Alhamdulillah ramai yang datang menyumbang tenaga. Setiap hari disediakan makanan percuma oleh ahli tentera, walaupun ala kadar, tetapi bagi yang sudah kehilangan segala, ala kadar pun amat bermakna.
Memang penat dan sakit seluruh anggota,
menggosok selut dilantai yang mencecah buku lali.
Syukur Ya Allah, kami masih ada rumah untuk dihuni.
mencuci kain baju yang basah kesemuanya.
Syukur Ya Allah, kami masih ada kain baju untuk dipakai semula.
memberus pinggan mangkuk periuk belanga.
Syukur Ya Allah, pinggan mangkuk periuk belanga kami masih ada.
mengangkat membuang perabut yang sudah tak boleh diguna
Syukur Ya Allah, semakin bertambah ruang didalam rumah, kami akan lebih selesa.
Syukur Ya Allah kerana yang rosak dan yang musnah hanyalah harta dunia semata-mata.
Syukur Ya Allah, kami sekeluarga selamat tanpa sebarang cacat cela.
Syukur ku padaMu Ya Allah, kerana memberikan kami ketabahan, kesabaran dan keupayaan menghadapi dugaanMu ini. Semoga segala kesusahan yang kami lalui ini menjadi kafarrah kepada dosa-dosa kami padaMu Ya Allah.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Midnight Ramblings
To be honest, I am not sure where I am heading with this post. Something is bugging me since my conversation with my uni mate the other day. Not bugging me in a bad way, it just bugs me, that's all and keeps me thinking of my present employmentless status.
E came to the kenduri Mak threw to commemorate my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. She kept asking me what I want to do (for the rest of my life, workwise). When I said I don't know - true, I actually don't know what I want to do right now - she kept saying that I cannot be unemployed, I have to find a job or I will lose my identity. Although I disagreed with her, I did not say anything. She continued on and on of inferiority, waste of talent etc. At one point she even asked me whether I felt that I have wasted my time in my previous employment, i.e. working in a small company unrecognised company, you know the drift. My conclusion is that she thinks that my 15++ years was a waste of time. On a lot of counts, my opinion differed (for the record, I did not 100% diagree, okay) but I did not say anything as I do not want to discuss the topic any longer than we should.
Now, is it true that we are defined by what we do. I would hope that I am not. I would hope that I am more than that. I would hope that I am defined by the person that I have become. If I am what I do, then I would be nothing now, would I not? Would I have to feel inferior now that I am not employed. Do I have to feel ashamed?. I should hope not, for at the moment I am neither inferior nor ashamed. But it has only been 3 months, and I am still occupied with my part-time "suka-takrela-wan" assignments. Will what she said be true as time goes by?. I sure hope not. I actually love the state that I am in right now. Being my own boss, so called. (but then, if I am my own Boss, I can't afford to pay me, how?).
As for wasting my time, the thought has entered my mind, a long time ago but I have resolved that. In the last 15++ years, I have helped someone set up his business, created employments, trained staffs and trainees. I learned a lot, about work, about life. Lasting friendships were born there too. Were all that a waste of time?
I figured, while I still continue doing the part-time job (which is occupying my time, full time), I can slowly (insyaAllah, but surely) find something else to do that will generate a constant income stream. I am keeping my options wide open. I am not actively looking for a full time employment, but I will not turn away from any opportunity that might comes-a-knocking. At my age, I should not be thinking too much of the worldly things, at least not of this world. I should worry more of the other world. The years I have left in this world is lesser than the years I have lived, I think. Alhamdulillah, I have all that I need, and all I need now is to maintain what I have and put food on the table and I wish I can add to it Umrah or holiday trip once in while.
Although money is not everything, dalam dunia materi sekarang, everything needs money. I pray to Allah that I find ways to make money before I ran out of money.
I do not want to be poor kerana kemiskinan boleh membawa kepada kekufuran.
I do not want to be rich either kerana kekayaan boleh melalaikan kita dari mengingati Allah swt.
Yang saya inginkan Ya Allah, adalah kehidupan yang senang dan tenang. Yang kudambakan adalah maghfirahMu. Yang ku cari adalah redhoMu. Amiin Ya Robb.
E came to the kenduri Mak threw to commemorate my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. She kept asking me what I want to do (for the rest of my life, workwise). When I said I don't know - true, I actually don't know what I want to do right now - she kept saying that I cannot be unemployed, I have to find a job or I will lose my identity. Although I disagreed with her, I did not say anything. She continued on and on of inferiority, waste of talent etc. At one point she even asked me whether I felt that I have wasted my time in my previous employment, i.e. working in a small company unrecognised company, you know the drift. My conclusion is that she thinks that my 15++ years was a waste of time. On a lot of counts, my opinion differed (for the record, I did not 100% diagree, okay) but I did not say anything as I do not want to discuss the topic any longer than we should.
Now, is it true that we are defined by what we do. I would hope that I am not. I would hope that I am more than that. I would hope that I am defined by the person that I have become. If I am what I do, then I would be nothing now, would I not? Would I have to feel inferior now that I am not employed. Do I have to feel ashamed?. I should hope not, for at the moment I am neither inferior nor ashamed. But it has only been 3 months, and I am still occupied with my part-time "suka-takrela-wan" assignments. Will what she said be true as time goes by?. I sure hope not. I actually love the state that I am in right now. Being my own boss, so called. (but then, if I am my own Boss, I can't afford to pay me, how?).
As for wasting my time, the thought has entered my mind, a long time ago but I have resolved that. In the last 15++ years, I have helped someone set up his business, created employments, trained staffs and trainees. I learned a lot, about work, about life. Lasting friendships were born there too. Were all that a waste of time?
I figured, while I still continue doing the part-time job (which is occupying my time, full time), I can slowly (insyaAllah, but surely) find something else to do that will generate a constant income stream. I am keeping my options wide open. I am not actively looking for a full time employment, but I will not turn away from any opportunity that might comes-a-knocking. At my age, I should not be thinking too much of the worldly things, at least not of this world. I should worry more of the other world. The years I have left in this world is lesser than the years I have lived, I think. Alhamdulillah, I have all that I need, and all I need now is to maintain what I have and put food on the table and I wish I can add to it Umrah or holiday trip once in while.
Although money is not everything, dalam dunia materi sekarang, everything needs money. I pray to Allah that I find ways to make money before I ran out of money.
I do not want to be poor kerana kemiskinan boleh membawa kepada kekufuran.
I do not want to be rich either kerana kekayaan boleh melalaikan kita dari mengingati Allah swt.
Yang saya inginkan Ya Allah, adalah kehidupan yang senang dan tenang. Yang kudambakan adalah maghfirahMu. Yang ku cari adalah redhoMu. Amiin Ya Robb.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Must Have Done Something Right
Suddenly I felt like writing.
This morning did not start off well. I arranged for a meeting this morning to discuss preparation for the big meeting end of this year. Mind you, this is not my responsibility as I am not the Secretary, but as usual I like to play busy body. Informed all concerned, four days ago. I just would like to see at least one big meeting held, prepared properly and not invite anymore critics. On the way to the ASSociation, I received an sms from Mr Secretary that he is not available to attend the meeting... what the _*&^!, I arranged this meeting in order to assist him and he did not even bother to grace us with his presence and choose to inform us at 9am for a 10am meeting!! Arrrgghhh!!!! never mind, we still continue with the meeting and resolved a lot of issues. At least, tasks are assigned, formats are drafted, deadlines are set, dates are proposed.
Well, anyway, that was not what I wanted to write about.
Three months into my semi retirement does not feel like a retirement at all! I felt like I am still working as hard. But one thing has definitely changed, my shoulders are so light, now that the heavy burdened has been lifted and the head has more time to think of things other than the work. I do not have that heavy feeling at the end of the day like I used to, you know the feeling of calling it a day with a lot of things left unfinished. Phew!!! gone are the days. And since he is no longer my boss, my blood , my jantung and my hati do not run berserk everytime I have to face him or see his face. Phew!!! another kelegaan.
Although there is no formal contract with the company, they still pay me monthly allowance, albeit just a token sum which I do not mind at all, because I cannot resign as the Co Sec since nobody is qualified to take over. (But I strongly suspected that this allowance has a lot more to do with my position in the ASS, by trying to keep me unemployed as long as possible will make me more available at the ASS). I also help out whenever my assistance is required. Its funny though. Most of the areas where my help is needed were the areas that I was harshly criticised about when I was in their employ. Sometimes I just felt like laughing my head off.
He is now campaigning for another term with the Ass. and he wants me to run too, for the same office. I do not want to to so, for what?. What do I get in return other than headaches, penat, sakit hati, kena kutuk? Why should I want to go through another two years of that? But everytime I told him of my decision, he will kona here and there and say that he has no one else who is capable and can be trusted to hold my office. I am not going to say anything anymore on the subject, I will just keep quite. When the time comes, I will just not sign the nomination letter. That's the plan. Dulu kata my wibawa ni senang for people to take advantage of, dia la yang duk take advantage. Now he said, I have a wibawa yang baik pulak. Confused tau maknjang ni. I already pesan kat Datin Mami, if tetiba I agreed to run for the election tolong lah bawak maknjang pi berubat, I am sure ada short somewhere.
That's all for now.!!!!
This morning did not start off well. I arranged for a meeting this morning to discuss preparation for the big meeting end of this year. Mind you, this is not my responsibility as I am not the Secretary, but as usual I like to play busy body. Informed all concerned, four days ago. I just would like to see at least one big meeting held, prepared properly and not invite anymore critics. On the way to the ASSociation, I received an sms from Mr Secretary that he is not available to attend the meeting... what the _*&^!, I arranged this meeting in order to assist him and he did not even bother to grace us with his presence and choose to inform us at 9am for a 10am meeting!! Arrrgghhh!!!! never mind, we still continue with the meeting and resolved a lot of issues. At least, tasks are assigned, formats are drafted, deadlines are set, dates are proposed.
Well, anyway, that was not what I wanted to write about.
Three months into my semi retirement does not feel like a retirement at all! I felt like I am still working as hard. But one thing has definitely changed, my shoulders are so light, now that the heavy burdened has been lifted and the head has more time to think of things other than the work. I do not have that heavy feeling at the end of the day like I used to, you know the feeling of calling it a day with a lot of things left unfinished. Phew!!! gone are the days. And since he is no longer my boss, my blood , my jantung and my hati do not run berserk everytime I have to face him or see his face. Phew!!! another kelegaan.
Although there is no formal contract with the company, they still pay me monthly allowance, albeit just a token sum which I do not mind at all, because I cannot resign as the Co Sec since nobody is qualified to take over. (But I strongly suspected that this allowance has a lot more to do with my position in the ASS, by trying to keep me unemployed as long as possible will make me more available at the ASS). I also help out whenever my assistance is required. Its funny though. Most of the areas where my help is needed were the areas that I was harshly criticised about when I was in their employ. Sometimes I just felt like laughing my head off.
He is now campaigning for another term with the Ass. and he wants me to run too, for the same office. I do not want to to so, for what?. What do I get in return other than headaches, penat, sakit hati, kena kutuk? Why should I want to go through another two years of that? But everytime I told him of my decision, he will kona here and there and say that he has no one else who is capable and can be trusted to hold my office. I am not going to say anything anymore on the subject, I will just keep quite. When the time comes, I will just not sign the nomination letter. That's the plan. Dulu kata my wibawa ni senang for people to take advantage of, dia la yang duk take advantage. Now he said, I have a wibawa yang baik pulak. Confused tau maknjang ni. I already pesan kat Datin Mami, if tetiba I agreed to run for the election tolong lah bawak maknjang pi berubat, I am sure ada short somewhere.
That's all for now.!!!!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
A New Leaf
Today is the 2nd day of turning 44 and also the 2nd day of a new leaf.
With no solid plan of what to do with the rest of my life, I am feeling quite good nevertheless. Not sure yet how I will feel in the next 4 or 5 months ahead when the money depleted. Let's not cross that bridge.. not until I reach there.
I was home for 5 days. I was full of enthusiasm, full of gusto when I started my journey home, I planned in my head and imagine myself cleaning my room, rearranging the furniture, organising this and that and get to sit down and do some paperwork. But when I got home, all my semangat went out of the window. The house was in a total mess! I do not know where to begin. I wanted to start with my bedroom then I realised that I do not have a wardrobe, so where do I put all my clothes. Boxes are everywhere. Furniture are haphazardly placed. Sigh! In my room, the only empty space was on the bed, only one side of it, reserved for me to sleep on, I supposed. And then I got the flu, so that's it. I have no energy to do anything and just let things be the way they are and left for KL yesterday. I even brought with me my dirty clothes for Rohaya to clean because I do not have the semangat to even do laundry.
I called Murni, the cleaner lady that we normally employ to help clean the house but she was not free. I have arranged for her to come to the house when I go home in a couple of weeks. But I have a dilemma. How do I do this without hurting my parents' feeling. My parents are borderline hoarders. They never throw things away. So, we have furniture that dated way back when and some has lost not only its shine or colour but also its shape. They keep all broken electrical appliances. There's 2 broken washing machines, 2 broken TVs, old radios, stand fan, table fan, name it, we have it somewhere in the house.
I want to throw away or giveaway things that we no longer need. I have to put my feet down and do this once and for all. Otherwise I do not think I will be able to live in that house without feeling rimas. I am not the cleanest or the tidiest person on earth, I am not but I just can't stand living in the house the way it is right now. I just can't.
Not that the house is bad just like it is, the younger brother pulak is using the living room as his workshop. Adoi, sungguh sakit mata ini melihatnya.
The dilemma is worst when the house is mine. If I were to be so MEM SAHAB-ly, I am afraid that they think, mentang-mentang lah ni rumah dia, and make some people and even worst if my parents feel uneasy. I just close one eye everytime I went home before this because I was just home for a few days. Let's not stir anything up, that has been my motto. But this time, I am going to stay there, insyaAllah for good. I just cannot live like that. I have to do something about it and lay down a few laws to the inhabitants, my parents excluded. As far as I am concerned, Mak and Abah can do as they please, as long as they are happy, but the rest of the people in the house has better get their act together. Mem Sahab is in the house!
Back to the new leaf, although I have no solid plan on how to earn money at least for the next 6 years, I am feeling good inside. I have this strange feeling that something good is on the horizon for me. I pray to Allah swt to guide me to the right path and shower me with His rahmat, hidayah and rezeki.
This afternoon at lunch, I told Zurin that Che Me'e is working in NZ. Suddenly she just said, lets do that Maknjang, lets just go to NZ, look for a job and stay there. If we are not happy, we come back. That's a thought....... to ponder?
With no solid plan of what to do with the rest of my life, I am feeling quite good nevertheless. Not sure yet how I will feel in the next 4 or 5 months ahead when the money depleted. Let's not cross that bridge.. not until I reach there.
I was home for 5 days. I was full of enthusiasm, full of gusto when I started my journey home, I planned in my head and imagine myself cleaning my room, rearranging the furniture, organising this and that and get to sit down and do some paperwork. But when I got home, all my semangat went out of the window. The house was in a total mess! I do not know where to begin. I wanted to start with my bedroom then I realised that I do not have a wardrobe, so where do I put all my clothes. Boxes are everywhere. Furniture are haphazardly placed. Sigh! In my room, the only empty space was on the bed, only one side of it, reserved for me to sleep on, I supposed. And then I got the flu, so that's it. I have no energy to do anything and just let things be the way they are and left for KL yesterday. I even brought with me my dirty clothes for Rohaya to clean because I do not have the semangat to even do laundry.
I called Murni, the cleaner lady that we normally employ to help clean the house but she was not free. I have arranged for her to come to the house when I go home in a couple of weeks. But I have a dilemma. How do I do this without hurting my parents' feeling. My parents are borderline hoarders. They never throw things away. So, we have furniture that dated way back when and some has lost not only its shine or colour but also its shape. They keep all broken electrical appliances. There's 2 broken washing machines, 2 broken TVs, old radios, stand fan, table fan, name it, we have it somewhere in the house.
I want to throw away or giveaway things that we no longer need. I have to put my feet down and do this once and for all. Otherwise I do not think I will be able to live in that house without feeling rimas. I am not the cleanest or the tidiest person on earth, I am not but I just can't stand living in the house the way it is right now. I just can't.
Not that the house is bad just like it is, the younger brother pulak is using the living room as his workshop. Adoi, sungguh sakit mata ini melihatnya.
The dilemma is worst when the house is mine. If I were to be so MEM SAHAB-ly, I am afraid that they think, mentang-mentang lah ni rumah dia, and make some people and even worst if my parents feel uneasy. I just close one eye everytime I went home before this because I was just home for a few days. Let's not stir anything up, that has been my motto. But this time, I am going to stay there, insyaAllah for good. I just cannot live like that. I have to do something about it and lay down a few laws to the inhabitants, my parents excluded. As far as I am concerned, Mak and Abah can do as they please, as long as they are happy, but the rest of the people in the house has better get their act together. Mem Sahab is in the house!
Back to the new leaf, although I have no solid plan on how to earn money at least for the next 6 years, I am feeling good inside. I have this strange feeling that something good is on the horizon for me. I pray to Allah swt to guide me to the right path and shower me with His rahmat, hidayah and rezeki.
This afternoon at lunch, I told Zurin that Che Me'e is working in NZ. Suddenly she just said, lets do that Maknjang, lets just go to NZ, look for a job and stay there. If we are not happy, we come back. That's a thought....... to ponder?
Friday, June 25, 2010
Jit
His name was Abdul Aziz Ahmad. He was my cousin, the son of Abah's younger sister. He was a year older than me. Jit and I grew up together as our houses were just a walking distance away.
Jit was like a brother. I have two elder brothers and the two of them will always ganged up against me and I was the youngest for close to 7 years, no other sibling to turn to, Jit was always there for me. Jit was everybody's favourite. Loved by everyone.
Jit was present at all the important events in my life and I was in his. My leaving home for MRSM, my leaving home for KL, my leaving home for Australia and all my homecomings. His leaving home for Al-Arqam, his engagement, his wedding and his first born. I went home as often as I could when he was sick. But I was not there on his final day, the day he left all of us behind. Mak, abah, my younger brothers, my nephews and my sister were in KL. He left us all in 1993, and left his only daughter Asma' orphaned at 2 years of age.
Asma' is coming home from Jordan today. I promised to see her at 5 at KLIA, unfortunately, I am overbooked. As I was driving to work just now, I was thinking of Asma' and plan to tell Udden, my no 1 nephew to go see her and make sure she checked in for he flight to AS safely. I won't be able to see her until I go back to AS next week. That was how I came to thinking about Jit.
I have always wonder how my life would turn out to be had Jit still be around. I never have anybody that I can talk to and tell everything to, other than Jit. And since he left, I have never actually "talked" to anyone. I know, its not good to berkalau as there is no point to it at all. But I still wonder. Sometimes when I want to make a certain big decision, I would always ask myself, what would Tok say about this and what would Jit think about this. Ever since I tendered my resignation, the two of them were constantly on my mind. I know that if Jit is still around,he would support my decision and would support whatever I want to do with my life and he would even support me financially, if I ever needed it.
As for Asma', although we are not close since her mother remarried and and she moved away with her, she will always have a special place in my heart. Just because she is Jit's daughter. Not many people will understand this, especially my younger siblings as they never knew how close Jit was to me.
Al fatihah buat Jit dan doa Adik semoga Allah swt tempatkan Jit bersama-sama orang-orang yang solihin. Amin.
Jit was like a brother. I have two elder brothers and the two of them will always ganged up against me and I was the youngest for close to 7 years, no other sibling to turn to, Jit was always there for me. Jit was everybody's favourite. Loved by everyone.
Jit was present at all the important events in my life and I was in his. My leaving home for MRSM, my leaving home for KL, my leaving home for Australia and all my homecomings. His leaving home for Al-Arqam, his engagement, his wedding and his first born. I went home as often as I could when he was sick. But I was not there on his final day, the day he left all of us behind. Mak, abah, my younger brothers, my nephews and my sister were in KL. He left us all in 1993, and left his only daughter Asma' orphaned at 2 years of age.
Asma' is coming home from Jordan today. I promised to see her at 5 at KLIA, unfortunately, I am overbooked. As I was driving to work just now, I was thinking of Asma' and plan to tell Udden, my no 1 nephew to go see her and make sure she checked in for he flight to AS safely. I won't be able to see her until I go back to AS next week. That was how I came to thinking about Jit.
I have always wonder how my life would turn out to be had Jit still be around. I never have anybody that I can talk to and tell everything to, other than Jit. And since he left, I have never actually "talked" to anyone. I know, its not good to berkalau as there is no point to it at all. But I still wonder. Sometimes when I want to make a certain big decision, I would always ask myself, what would Tok say about this and what would Jit think about this. Ever since I tendered my resignation, the two of them were constantly on my mind. I know that if Jit is still around,he would support my decision and would support whatever I want to do with my life and he would even support me financially, if I ever needed it.
As for Asma', although we are not close since her mother remarried and and she moved away with her, she will always have a special place in my heart. Just because she is Jit's daughter. Not many people will understand this, especially my younger siblings as they never knew how close Jit was to me.
Al fatihah buat Jit dan doa Adik semoga Allah swt tempatkan Jit bersama-sama orang-orang yang solihin. Amin.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Another Chapter Is Closed
Last night I went to clean up the apartment in SD, the one I have been renting for the last 5 years (with the help of 2 bibiks) and pick up the last few items left.
I finally locked the door of another life I am leaving behind. I was expecting to feel kinda sad but surprisingly, I do not feel anything at all. Perhaps because I have never felt connected to the place, spending most of my time at my sister's since before they moved to BJ, when they used to stay in the next block.
Before leaving SD, I went to a hardware store to duplicate some keys for the ASSociation. The store was near to the house I stayed for more than 10 years before I moved to the apartment. The owners remarked that I looked familiar so I told them that I was among their first customers. We moved in to the area around the same time in 1995. After chit-chatting for a while, the husband asked me what I am doing for a living so I told them that I am moving back home and going to semi retirement. He said I am too young to retire so I asked him, how old does he think I am and he said 30 plus; hmmmm.... he has not seen my uban, that's why! When I told him I am 44 they did not believe me until I have to show them, no, not my uban, but my IC. he he he... I like.
Everybody I talked to about me moving home with my parents (and being single) all agreed that I am doing the right thing. Including this couple. They said, duit bila-bila buleh cari. I am not trying to justify my action, I knew from the beginning that this is the right thing to do but getting affirmations from total strangers just makes me feel all so much better.
In another Act on a different Stage - I have written a letter and a proposal and have handed them over, yesterday. Claiming that I have just gave him a headache, he went home. I hope he read it until the last page. I am anxiously waiting for the response so that I can close another chapter of my life.
I heard on the radio today:-
Apa yang kita perlu buat, tak semestinya kita suka buat dan apa yang kita suka buat, tak semestinya kita perlu buat. So, less wayang please Maknjang and more ibadat!
With that I shall end my post for this Tuesday.
I finally locked the door of another life I am leaving behind. I was expecting to feel kinda sad but surprisingly, I do not feel anything at all. Perhaps because I have never felt connected to the place, spending most of my time at my sister's since before they moved to BJ, when they used to stay in the next block.
Before leaving SD, I went to a hardware store to duplicate some keys for the ASSociation. The store was near to the house I stayed for more than 10 years before I moved to the apartment. The owners remarked that I looked familiar so I told them that I was among their first customers. We moved in to the area around the same time in 1995. After chit-chatting for a while, the husband asked me what I am doing for a living so I told them that I am moving back home and going to semi retirement. He said I am too young to retire so I asked him, how old does he think I am and he said 30 plus; hmmmm.... he has not seen my uban, that's why! When I told him I am 44 they did not believe me until I have to show them, no, not my uban, but my IC. he he he... I like.
Everybody I talked to about me moving home with my parents (and being single) all agreed that I am doing the right thing. Including this couple. They said, duit bila-bila buleh cari. I am not trying to justify my action, I knew from the beginning that this is the right thing to do but getting affirmations from total strangers just makes me feel all so much better.
In another Act on a different Stage - I have written a letter and a proposal and have handed them over, yesterday. Claiming that I have just gave him a headache, he went home. I hope he read it until the last page. I am anxiously waiting for the response so that I can close another chapter of my life.
I heard on the radio today:-
Apa yang kita perlu buat, tak semestinya kita suka buat dan apa yang kita suka buat, tak semestinya kita perlu buat. So, less wayang please Maknjang and more ibadat!
With that I shall end my post for this Tuesday.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Overwhelmed!
That was an understatement.
I was in the state of speechlessness for a few days now.
It is true, it matters not what other people think of you, what matters most is how you see yourself. But sometimes knowing how people felt and looked at you and how you affect their lifes do warm the heart.
The thing is, despite me saying over and over again that I hate farewell dos, especially if I were to be in the center of it, I mean seriously, are you that happy to see me go that you have to celebrate it with a bang, seriously?.. the staffs still insisted on having one. What to do, takkan nak menghampakan peminat, I obliged but on a certain condition. I explained to the "organisers" of how I felt about this farewell thing and why I do not want it in the first place. I have to make them understand why I am leaving and I do not want to have to be in an awkward situation and I do not want them to face the consequences later. I know this company. I know the people in it. Just trust me on this.
It was going to be a surprise party to "raikan perpisahan" with Hajjah Maknjang. Again, I can't help but smile, I knew they did not meant it that way, but it still sounded funny. You have to agree with me. I was not trying to be cocky. Believe me, that was not what I was trying to do. If I came across that way, I truly apologise. I started suspecting that something is harbouring when people started asking whether I will be in the office on a certain date and time. Which I can't promise them that I will. Lucky for them, I came upfront and asked, because I was not in the office the day the surprise were to be held, otherwise they would the surprised ones!
The day was Thursday, 17 June 2010, the time 6:30pm and the place was D'Dusun Seafood, not far from the office. You understand why it is not held in the office, don't you?. I was expecting to just eat-eat and then bye-bye. I was preparing myself only for that. When I got there and saw the set-up, man!!! I should have prepared a speech and then words started playing in my brain and I was not concentrating on the whole do. It stated with the MC saying tributes to me complete with pantuns, I was truly amazed at the details they went through to throw me a great farewell.This is not something they decided to do on a spur of a moment thing. This is something well planned. The COO was called and said a few words about me and then handover farewell gifts to me, another surprise. What the COO said will be remembered for a long long time. I have never had anybody say anything nice to me, especially from the higher management. All these years, all I heard are just sarcasm, sadistic remarks and harsh words. When he said that there is one thing he truly admired about me and he should not have waited until the time I was leaving to say it.. my heart went boom, boom boom. I mean, how can this man, I mean if you know him, you would understand this, this guy who just keeps his cool, mind his own business all the time admire me, I mean even if it just for one thing. Seriously! This guy is so cool, water freezes around him, okay, that is how cool he is. I have never seen him lose his temper, ever and I have known him for more than 15 years. I, on the other hand, lost my tempers on an hourly basis. And yet he admire me for my "tenangness" comparing my tolerance level with his. He said he has never met anyone with a higher threshold of pain than him until he got to know me. He said he admires me for being so tenang in facing what came my way, may it be tremors, earthquakes or turbulences. hmmm... thank you THMA, you made my day, my year, even.
Doas were read and then tada! Hajjah Maknjang was called to say a few words. I do not know what I said but I am pretty sure its the thing I have always been saying to them all these years. Buat kerja dengan ikhlas and jangan gaduh-gaduh sesama sendiri. Do not envy others. Stay true to yourselves and make sure they earn a halal rezeki, this is my trademark speech, in every meetings and every gatherings. And just before makan, they surprised me with two birthday cakes. That is 14 days too early but, thank you! I think that would be the only birthday celebration I will be having this year, unless Mak plans some kenduri doa selamat for my homecoming.
Among the gifts was a card signed by the staffs and I got teary eyed when I read them. I never knew, despite my garangness, my mood swings, my tempers, my screamings, my cengeness; almost all the staffs thank me for the guidance and patience (?). Some even said that I inspire them, I wonder, in what way. Another staff told me that I am her idol. Aduss! Sedeh banget nih!
I am not sure how many people from the office read this blog but I would like to thank all of them for an evening I will treasure for the rest of my life. I apologise for not thanking them properly that night and truly, truly appreciate what they have done for me. As for the gifts, I shall wear them on Eid Mubarak, insyaAllah. They were so pretty. You should not have gone through so much trouble. Yang berusaha, Mass, SQ, Tina, Ikin and the rests, again, thank you very very much. I hope our ukhwah will last a lifetime and not end here.
p/s the Indonesian workers are yet to say goodbye to me. They have been asking Shila for a time to come and see me and I have been playing hide-and-seek so far. I cannot push this away, I know. I have to face them and I am pretty sure there will be major meltdowns! Tissues please......
I was in the state of speechlessness for a few days now.
It is true, it matters not what other people think of you, what matters most is how you see yourself. But sometimes knowing how people felt and looked at you and how you affect their lifes do warm the heart.
The thing is, despite me saying over and over again that I hate farewell dos, especially if I were to be in the center of it, I mean seriously, are you that happy to see me go that you have to celebrate it with a bang, seriously?.. the staffs still insisted on having one. What to do, takkan nak menghampakan peminat, I obliged but on a certain condition. I explained to the "organisers" of how I felt about this farewell thing and why I do not want it in the first place. I have to make them understand why I am leaving and I do not want to have to be in an awkward situation and I do not want them to face the consequences later. I know this company. I know the people in it. Just trust me on this.
It was going to be a surprise party to "raikan perpisahan" with Hajjah Maknjang. Again, I can't help but smile, I knew they did not meant it that way, but it still sounded funny. You have to agree with me. I was not trying to be cocky. Believe me, that was not what I was trying to do. If I came across that way, I truly apologise. I started suspecting that something is harbouring when people started asking whether I will be in the office on a certain date and time. Which I can't promise them that I will. Lucky for them, I came upfront and asked, because I was not in the office the day the surprise were to be held, otherwise they would the surprised ones!
The day was Thursday, 17 June 2010, the time 6:30pm and the place was D'Dusun Seafood, not far from the office. You understand why it is not held in the office, don't you?. I was expecting to just eat-eat and then bye-bye. I was preparing myself only for that. When I got there and saw the set-up, man!!! I should have prepared a speech and then words started playing in my brain and I was not concentrating on the whole do. It stated with the MC saying tributes to me complete with pantuns, I was truly amazed at the details they went through to throw me a great farewell.This is not something they decided to do on a spur of a moment thing. This is something well planned. The COO was called and said a few words about me and then handover farewell gifts to me, another surprise. What the COO said will be remembered for a long long time. I have never had anybody say anything nice to me, especially from the higher management. All these years, all I heard are just sarcasm, sadistic remarks and harsh words. When he said that there is one thing he truly admired about me and he should not have waited until the time I was leaving to say it.. my heart went boom, boom boom. I mean, how can this man, I mean if you know him, you would understand this, this guy who just keeps his cool, mind his own business all the time admire me, I mean even if it just for one thing. Seriously! This guy is so cool, water freezes around him, okay, that is how cool he is. I have never seen him lose his temper, ever and I have known him for more than 15 years. I, on the other hand, lost my tempers on an hourly basis. And yet he admire me for my "tenangness" comparing my tolerance level with his. He said he has never met anyone with a higher threshold of pain than him until he got to know me. He said he admires me for being so tenang in facing what came my way, may it be tremors, earthquakes or turbulences. hmmm... thank you THMA, you made my day, my year, even.
Doas were read and then tada! Hajjah Maknjang was called to say a few words. I do not know what I said but I am pretty sure its the thing I have always been saying to them all these years. Buat kerja dengan ikhlas and jangan gaduh-gaduh sesama sendiri. Do not envy others. Stay true to yourselves and make sure they earn a halal rezeki, this is my trademark speech, in every meetings and every gatherings. And just before makan, they surprised me with two birthday cakes. That is 14 days too early but, thank you! I think that would be the only birthday celebration I will be having this year, unless Mak plans some kenduri doa selamat for my homecoming.
Among the gifts was a card signed by the staffs and I got teary eyed when I read them. I never knew, despite my garangness, my mood swings, my tempers, my screamings, my cengeness; almost all the staffs thank me for the guidance and patience (?). Some even said that I inspire them, I wonder, in what way. Another staff told me that I am her idol. Aduss! Sedeh banget nih!
I am not sure how many people from the office read this blog but I would like to thank all of them for an evening I will treasure for the rest of my life. I apologise for not thanking them properly that night and truly, truly appreciate what they have done for me. As for the gifts, I shall wear them on Eid Mubarak, insyaAllah. They were so pretty. You should not have gone through so much trouble. Yang berusaha, Mass, SQ, Tina, Ikin and the rests, again, thank you very very much. I hope our ukhwah will last a lifetime and not end here.
p/s the Indonesian workers are yet to say goodbye to me. They have been asking Shila for a time to come and see me and I have been playing hide-and-seek so far. I cannot push this away, I know. I have to face them and I am pretty sure there will be major meltdowns! Tissues please......
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Its the final countdown, finally!
Today is 1st June 2010 which to Maknjang means:-
1 month to semi retirement... ooooh I can't wait!
1 month to 44 years old... yikes!
10 days to World Cup... should I care?
Enough of the countdown, pagi ini Maknjang nak tulis lah apa yang Maknjang dengar on the radio recently :-
1 month to semi retirement... ooooh I can't wait!
1 month to 44 years old... yikes!
10 days to World Cup... should I care?
Enough of the countdown, pagi ini Maknjang nak tulis lah apa yang Maknjang dengar on the radio recently :-
- Manusia Yang Berjaya adalah manusia yang hari ininya adalah lebih baik dari kelmarin
- Manusia Yang Terpedaya adalah manusia yang hari ininya sama seperti kelmarin
- Manusia Yang Celaka adalah manusia yang hari ininya lebih buruk dari kelmarin
- Orang yang beriman melihat dosanya seolah-olah dia duduk dibawah sebuah gunung yang akan menghempapnya manakala orang-orang yang derhaka melihat dosanya seperti seekor lalat yang hinggap dihidungnya, apabila dihalau dengan tangannya akan terbang pergi.
Sebelum Maknjang akhiri antri Maknjang kali ini, marilah kita berdoa pada Allah swt untuk menyelamatkan saudara-saudara kita yang menggadai nyawa didalam misi kemanusiaan ke Gaza. Semoga Allah jadikan mati mereka yang terkorban sebagai mati syahid. Yahudi LaknatuLLah!!!!!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Stretch that RM... the sequel
In my earlier post, I wrote on this subject.
To stretch the RM as thin as I possibly can.
Well, what do you know?
I can actually do it and I have been hit with regrets ever since. Mana daknya!.. I realised that if I actually plan my expenditure properly and do not splurge on things I do not need, I can save A LOT on each paycheque. How much? Let's put it this way, I could go for Umrah each year and throw in an oversea holiday or two in between, that's how much I could have saved each year!!!! Haih! double haih! Too late for regrets already.
Before I went for Haj, I sort of put all my finances in order, because you do not know kan what will happen there. What I did was to pay off all my debts and start to live on cash. Since October last year, I have been living cash basis. Although I still carry credit cards around, I do not use them unless I know I have the money to pay for it and I would normally pay immediately, not waiting for the statement, thank you online banking!
I cannot even start to express the feeling of living a debt free life. Its refreshing, its liberating, its freedom, its beyond explanation. I have been tied up to credit card debts and housing loan before this.
In my previous life, I splurge without care and normally would be spending my future income away, thus a very high credit card debt. After watching Suze Orman, either her own show on CNBC or on Oprah and Till Debt Do Us Part by Gail Vaz-Oxlade regularly, I was determined that I should change. That's how I got started. My first project was to sell off the apartment I bought in KD, I was renting it out but the rent payment were erratic. Alhamdulillah, the process took less than 4 months to finalise. I sold the house to the first couple who viewed it. I doa and doa to make the process go smoothly and without obstacles and Alhamdulillah, my prayers were answered. We signed the S&P in April and I got my final payment in July. I used part of the proceeds to take my parents and youngest brother to Umrah and used the balance to pay off all my credit cards debt. Phuh!
So there, I urge everyone to try this. Its quite impossible for some to live a totally debt free life due to home mortgages and car loans, but at least try to limit your debt to these two alone. If you only need 1 or 2 cars, why have 3. If you need only 1 house, why have 2, 3 or four and be a slave to them. Most importantly eradicate credit card debts! If I can do it, anybody can. InsyaAllah. If you have not watch Suze or Gail before, please do... They will not be telling you anything new, you can bet on it but they will open up your eyes, very wide in my case.
Okay, Maknjang, back to work!
To stretch the RM as thin as I possibly can.
Well, what do you know?
I can actually do it and I have been hit with regrets ever since. Mana daknya!.. I realised that if I actually plan my expenditure properly and do not splurge on things I do not need, I can save A LOT on each paycheque. How much? Let's put it this way, I could go for Umrah each year and throw in an oversea holiday or two in between, that's how much I could have saved each year!!!! Haih! double haih! Too late for regrets already.
Before I went for Haj, I sort of put all my finances in order, because you do not know kan what will happen there. What I did was to pay off all my debts and start to live on cash. Since October last year, I have been living cash basis. Although I still carry credit cards around, I do not use them unless I know I have the money to pay for it and I would normally pay immediately, not waiting for the statement, thank you online banking!
I cannot even start to express the feeling of living a debt free life. Its refreshing, its liberating, its freedom, its beyond explanation. I have been tied up to credit card debts and housing loan before this.
In my previous life, I splurge without care and normally would be spending my future income away, thus a very high credit card debt. After watching Suze Orman, either her own show on CNBC or on Oprah and Till Debt Do Us Part by Gail Vaz-Oxlade regularly, I was determined that I should change. That's how I got started. My first project was to sell off the apartment I bought in KD, I was renting it out but the rent payment were erratic. Alhamdulillah, the process took less than 4 months to finalise. I sold the house to the first couple who viewed it. I doa and doa to make the process go smoothly and without obstacles and Alhamdulillah, my prayers were answered. We signed the S&P in April and I got my final payment in July. I used part of the proceeds to take my parents and youngest brother to Umrah and used the balance to pay off all my credit cards debt. Phuh!
So there, I urge everyone to try this. Its quite impossible for some to live a totally debt free life due to home mortgages and car loans, but at least try to limit your debt to these two alone. If you only need 1 or 2 cars, why have 3. If you need only 1 house, why have 2, 3 or four and be a slave to them. Most importantly eradicate credit card debts! If I can do it, anybody can. InsyaAllah. If you have not watch Suze or Gail before, please do... They will not be telling you anything new, you can bet on it but they will open up your eyes, very wide in my case.
Okay, Maknjang, back to work!
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